I was still starstruck, or is it crushstruck? Anyways, I was still struck and he was not leaving my mind. I mean I knew nothing of this boy, except for the fact that he was probably a freshmen and that he was hella cute... Like next level handsome and oh my gosh, I couldn't stop thinking about him. To this day, I am still thinking about him, even though I made a stupid mistake and I can never show my face in front of him again.
But I'll tell you that later. Okay, back to the story.
It was actually a miracle that I knew his friend and managed to barely talk to his friend.
Oh my gosh, I was soooooooo awkward... It was the most awkwardest thing that has ever happened and that's surprising giving the fact that I'm literally the most awkward person to ever live. But yeah I talked to his friend... At my own will. I think he was thinking the same thing about me.
As I was talking to him, my hands was shaking and sweating, my voice was not at all stable. It was... Horrific. I'm that moment, I wished I was born more socialable and less... Me.
What I said was this, "Hi... My name is Ella, I'm a senior here..."
He said: Cool
I asked if he was a freshmen, "Are you a freshmen?"
He replied, "Yes"
I said, "Oh cool... What is your race?"
I know, don't judge me 😑
"Umm... Caucasian"
And I stared at him... I legit stared at him. Probably to the point where he almost walked away. Almost.
I replied, "I would have guessed Thai" I was mentally facepalming myself over and over, I think my mental brain got a concussion.
I said, "Well... This is awkward. I'm sorry, it's my first time talking to someone I don't know and... Well, it's awkward... I'm sorry" Yeah, I'm pretty my twin and my dead brother could have cringed from the second hand embarrassed they felt just from me being me.
Anyways, me and that friend I talked about briefly have the same lunch, so we sit together. She was getting her lunch and made me hold her hand thing for her, and I was legit so excited because my crush looked at me so I was just trying every single way to get him to look at me more.
It was like I was screaming for him to notice me, which I actually was... Just on the inside.
Okay, this part still confuses me because it was hot outside and I didn't want to sit outside, but somehow I ended up sitting across from my crush... Outside. It was weird. I don't know.
Next thing you know I'm asking my friend to dare me to talk to him, but he left so I talked to his friend instead... The one where I had that super duper awkward conversation with. And then she did something else, which I did not condone, she dared me to tell his friends I liked him. I couldn't do that, but I want up anyways.
"Hi, remember me?"
He looked up and I swear I could just feel how much he was wishing I could go away, but this time it wasn't awkward. We actually shared a few laughs... Hahaha.
"So what's your friend's name" Keep in mind he was sitting with two people. Someone that I actually knew, but didn't talk to that much and my crush.
"Oh his name is Dylan" How did he know I was talking about me crush? I may never know.
"Oh, cool cool. My friend wanted me to tell you..." I couldn't say it. I sighed than looked up, "She has a crush on your friend" Apparently he looked at my friend and just kinda smiled.
"Oh, his taken" And with those words, my world fell apart. I waved goodbye, still smiling, and skipped back to where I was sitting... Skipped! Might as well call me Skips.
When I got there I told my friend what had happened and what he had said and she laughed and pretended to be mad at me then... I broke down. I cried and told her I wanted to be alone. I his my face so no one could see and no one could know, only her.
After that, I just got depressed and I was sad for the reminder of the two periods. When I go home, I was more depressed and cried and threw myself into work. I didn't want to eat or do anything except read fanfics cause that always cheered me up.
I even gave myself a prep talk to cheer myself up.
Me to mirror me, "Of course he has a girlfriend... Someone as handsome as him would not have a girlfriend. It's okay, you'll get over it, he just a boy"
Despite that, to this day... I'm still not over him and I don't know how long it would take for me to be.
