Heartbreaker (Don't watch me cry)

Time seems so slow

Billie

I'm lost
So confidently lost. They say you can't have lived out your life without living up to a certain age but you could be bewildered by what I've been through. Heart ache is normal,betrayal is normal and trying to die is normal for me . There comes a time to leave a place filled with a  chaotic atmosphere but the only way out is the most crucial . I live in a town called Everlay . Yes it sounds weird as it is , it's filled with people I loath . Tears in my eyes that keep burning to be let out , I'm strong,I'm strong...these  words have been circle around my head for years . "When will you give up", she said this to me in the most  pathetic way ..everyday almost taunting me . I've let my heart fall , there's a side to everyone that we don't know it may be the most despicable kind of side . I learned that the hard way, the worst kind of way. I need a place to hide but I can't find one near ... I feel so trapped in a place where I wouldn't have ever dreamed of leaving, well that's what  I wanted but then it stopped, things changed  ...just it all went wrong . I had a family...but there most of them are six feet under now ,I was left with my cold hearted Mother . In other words I know I'm her daughter because when things change and life happens I realise that my heart is made of glass and she doesn't forget to remind me everyday and with every waking moment , she use  to give me purpose but now ....there's no words to embellish what she's become. The first time I saw my family crumble was when nana was murdered . I think it was her...no it was her, it had to be . She loathed her with all her might , at least she gave her an easy death , food poison. It was so obvious . Dad died so after couldn't take the death. What a Shame. With the deaths upon my throat and the sudden drop of money things became broken moreover. I'd be beaten till I'm black not blue ..that was the first stage ,then she got a boyfriend well that's what I call him and let's just say things are not what they seem .As my Mother set her wedding she actually loathed being around me the reminder of her crime . As for me I felt hollow at this point of time ,nothing mattered as she beat me and let her boy finish me later it became a routine.I couldn't feel pain , nothing hurt ,the only thing impacted was my heart that cracked into a million pieces .People would start looking..they knew what happens but as I said it's a weird small town things here aren't normal . I'm  disfunctional , something is different about me , I know this because I'm different from others I don't have traits I even look the part of difference .My hair is original white stone cold white and I have blue eyes but look nothing like my sperm donas and it's quite odd to look this way , Doctors say I'm original, implacable, extremely beautiful

But nothing can compare within what I really am

No one can change that
........

No one