Billie
Questions
Sorrowing through my mind..where am I ...why am I here. But most importantly where is she....
Feeling like I run 29 laps by just opening my eyes..I realise I'm in a hospital, with someone. I turn and see something that should've gave me an emotion . Any, but all I can do is stare , blankly upon a broken soul pouring his heart out into his hands.
"Santiago",I said barely getting his name out with a mare whisper
As I said his name he turned and looked at me with mare shock and empathy drawn on his face.
I always knew him , I never forget.
"Billie..your awake," he said looking like he wanted to run rivers away from me ...he really should it's been done more then once another wouldn't hurt ..right. I'll get the memo next time.
"Did I disappoint you or let you down ...or should I be feeling guilty",with a slow crude side to the way I said it .He looked at me like a blank wall...like I said nothing.
"No....,but I have in many ways known to none".
"Why?" ,trying not to break into a sob
"What?"
"Am I here"
"Your pulse was slow ...so I brought you here", with a stutter at the end , quite confused with me
"Why didn't you leave me?"
"I couldn't,"he said like he was remembering the death
"What where your last words to her"
"Who?"
"Luciana",I said with a tear drop
"I.....wished her the best of all this world could give and she asked for forgiveness..and I told her there's nothing to forgive but I always thought she'd come back and tell me all she found was heartbreak and misery but she hasn't ...all I can do is cry behind this smile..it's hard for me to say I'm jealous of the way ..she's happy without me."
"I'm drowning in my bitterness Billie ....I'd kill for her ..you know, she had my heart in her finger tips...I'd cry for her ,I'd lie for her..but I don't even know her anymore, lord knows there's no re leaf", he told me like it was an old dialogue he could never forget.
"You spoke from the heart"
"No..I'm just too good at goodbyes".
"Maybe I should let my bygones be bygones.......You know Billie I don't care what they say ... I'm gonna let her enjoy her privilege life because I'm not gonna hold her through the night and I don't want to hear she's suffering because I held her down when she was suffering".
I just stared at him blankly , no words were to be said but even if there were I wouldn't have anything to say to that. All the emotion just drained me , that's my thing I never expected him to leave me empty.
YOU ARE READING
Heartbreaker (Don't watch me cry)
Roman d'amour"There are matters of words I want to say to you but I can't seem to find any..I'm not okay...I feel guilty ..I feel like it's written all over me . I feel like I'm holding onto something I don't need....but I can't seem to point it out ...your what...
