Taylor x kriscotanty

get hitched, boi

(A/N: may be a little kinky)

{Scranty's POV}

My mind was fuzzy.

Like actually fuzzy, what the fuck?

I tried to move my hands to push this thing off of my head, but unfortunately they were bound to something tough, so I couldn't move them. Struggling only made my hands and head hurt more. Suddenly, a door slammed open, startling me to death.

"Hello, my name is BMJ. If you look that up, you might find some incredibly disturbing images, but other wise, it means Big Mac, J-please.", I heard her pause and walk around in something clinky.

"When I was born, I had two choices. To either become a chocolate covered wheat-salesman or to get a respectable management job in a big company.", another long dramatic pause later. "I, of course, chose the choice anyone with a brain would choose."

Oh my god, how many pauses is she gonna take? TWO MINUTES IN BETWEEN SENTENCES.

"My career as a salesman for choco-wheat was a blast, from the age of 2, I already had an assistant and was about to start my own branch..." BMJ continued, followed by outrageously long pauses and chats about how easy it was to sell "choco-wheat" to hungry Albanians.

I nearly fell asleep, until she said a name that sounded familiar.

"Yeemo was quite into the whole emo scene, of course I noticed the first time I met her. Well, it was a normal day at Wal-mart and I was fixing to fight someone, so I grabbed the first beenie I saw"

Then she talked about how many twinkle-toes she got that day.

"Now as I prepared for the duel, I loaded up on Capri-sun's. Did you know that if you drink 30 of those, your sight and reflexes are heightened so you're almost like superman?"

That's not true. She talked more about the duel, and how she was too drunk on Capri-sun's to fight.

"As you can see, I am--wait. Oh sorry, fam, my cat is on your face." Then she proceeded to take her stinky-ass cat off of my face. The light was blinding but once I recovered, I saw that I was in a small, dark room. The "blinding light" was from a power-point presentation that she had on a projector.

I looked at the person who has been talking for what feels like 12 hours, and they look very, very hot. 

I thought it was a female talking, but it was actually a guy. My heart started beating fast, as I realized who it was. It was...

Grant Gustin of the Flash series.

The love of my life. (Well, one of them)

"Oh, do...do I look familiar Taylor?" he was...blushing. But why? I'm the one in love with him.

He flicks on the switch to the room, I look around and see pictures of me scattered about, with hearts in various places. My eyes turn to his attire, all clothing pieces had my picture or my name.

"Taylor, I have been in love with you for months. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I lost my job." He proceeded, and I proceeded to sob with joy. "I left my fiance, my life has been consumed by you. I love you so much, fam."

I was in awe, I can't believe my crush has a crush on me! But I realized that he has lost everything because of his love for me.

"Stop loving me" I said with sadness in my voice, I can't let him ruin his life because of me.

"I CAN'T!" He yelled back.

(A/N: This speech is inspired by my beloved, damon, and his love, elena)

And then, suddenly he fell on to his knees, and the metal holding me down was released. I didn't waste time to run up to him and have a HOT, STEAMY MAKEOUT. 

(A/N: this is rated M, FOR LANGUAGE. Not smut ya weirdos. and that was as "kinky" as it was going to get)

After I was done DEVOURING HIS LIPS, I wondered where I was. 

"Uh, by the way, where am I?" I asked him.

"Oh, were at the underwater base" he answered, matter of fact-ly.

"And were you always BMJ?" I asked, not done with questions. 

"No, I just haven't slept in 6 months and some crack-head stabbed me with heroin on the street and now I'm hooked. I guess I thought I was BMJ"

"Okay, where are they then?"

"Their in the lobby having a 'Congrats we escaped the stupid CIA' Party."

"Can I go see them?"

"Listen, I said I am obsessed with you and love you with all of my heart, but I don't give a fuck where you are, fam."

"Oooook, Bye! Love you, my granty-poo!" I got up to exit the room.

"Bye, my saucy-snubble-wup-kins! Don't be late for the rehersal!"

I walked into the hallway that lead to the lobby, as I walked closer, I heard what sounded like a hella lit rock song.

IM A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!

I opened the door and saw rainbow strobe lights and the strong smell of lemon. I got a good look at the party-goers and noticed that they were all the people that we had captured. In the middle of the room, I noticed a white wedding arch in the middle of the huge room, with flowers and white chairs surrounding it.

One person saw me, and then soon the entire room was looking at me, and the music and lights were turned off. Everyone then ripped their clothes off....

To reveal nice dresses and tuxes underneath.

Then they started clapping, as the old lady in the corner with a floral dress on started playing some piano music. Feeling out of place, I look down at my outfit to see a very huge, wedding dress.

How come I didn't notice that before?

I force a smile.

Someone, then, locks their arm with mine. I turn to look and see that it is the only father figure in this story, Mr. David Hasslehoff, wearing red swim trucks and a white dress-jacket.

"I have no idea what I'm doing here, I came for the shrimp cocktails. But since you're getting married, I was like, 'Might as well, Hasslehoff'", he whispered in my ear.

I was still smiling, but now I was confused. I'm getting married!?!

I look down the aisle and see three people with their backs turned away from me, so I couldn't see their faces. And on the bridesmaid's side I saw Yeemo, who was the only one dressed in a black dress, and in the middle of the Arch was the real BMJ standing in a ministers outfit.

Hasselhoff slowly walks me down the aisle, to the three people I will be marrying. 

As the grooms turned around, I saw Grant, Scott and Kristin.

And I fainted...

A/N: If you couldn't tell, I had absolutely no direction for this chapter. 

Thank you for reading my friends, only took me a month since yall came over.

I remembered crazy grant, so i brought him back.

Anyway, eat pant and carry ant.