Fireworks[ discontinued]

Knowing

A/N: hmmmmmmmm I'm freaking out about posting this. This chapter has really dark themes in it and I suggest you skip this chapter if you get triggered easily. stay safe my lovely's~ Lu

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-TRIGGER WARNING(self-harm, depression, abuse, suicide, eating disorder)-

Like how everyone did, Ash had a secret that only her siblings knew about. Not even her closest friends knew about it. But she keeps everything in a diary. All of her secrets, all of her feelings. Everything. One day when Ash was taking a shower, Alex went looking through the drawers for a hair tie. In her surprise, she found a book with a leather cover and a fancy metal clasp holding the covers together. Not knowing what it was she flipped to a page. She then found that it was Ash's diary. She read, "Dear diary, I was told again by some random stranger that I was a sin and I'm going to hell. So thanks for the reassurance and reminder random ass. I saw Adriana today. God, am I scared for her. She's been getting thinner every time I see her and she's been cutting again bc whenever she cuts again she covers her arms. And it's summer. She's so close to death. Just why. Why do people do this? Ugh honestly sometimes I wish I could disappear from this world. But I can't. My friends need me and I need them. Their lives matter more than mine. Ugh, I should sleep its two in the morning and I have camp tomorrow. -Ash." From reading this Alex became concerned with Ash's mental health. As Alex heard Ash turning off the water, she quickly closed the book and stuffed it back into the place she found it. 5 minutes later Ash came out in a tie-dye shirt and blue jean shorts and her brown hair was in two, short french braids. "Hey uh, Ash can talk to you about something tonight?" Alex asked trying not to look concerned. 'Uh sure." Ash responded looking confused. 

*Time skip* 

TRIGGER WARNING(self-harm, depression, abuse, suicide, eating disorder)-

"Hey. You wanted to talk to me about something." Ash said sitting down on her bed. "Uh yeah," Alex said still looking concerned."So uh, earlier today I went looking through the drawer for a hair tie and I found this." Alex said looking uneasy as she pulled out Ash's diary from under her pillow. When Ash saw her diary, she took a deep breath and tried to relax but she was anxious. "Ash, do you wanna talk because I found this and I accidentally read through it, not knowing what it was and honestly, I'm concerned about you. I'm scared too. I'm scared about-about you," Alex cried out trying to hold back some tears. Ash stood up, looking like she was about to cry, walked over to Alex's bed and sat down next to her. "Actually yeah. I do wanna talk about it," Ash said sniffling. "Well, my parents aren't really accepting of my sexuality, when I came out to them, my mom broke out into tears and questioned God if I was the punishment for her sins. And my dad, he just got angry and yelled at me for being a sin and said that I'm disgusting and that I'm going to hell. And s-so-sometimes he would-he would abuse me," Ash said as she started to cry. The tears rolled down her cheeks like a waterfall, staining her shirt with dark spots. " And then I got bullied a lot at my school for being bi. They would shove me into the walls and lockers. And they would call me names. They would call me so many things that I don't even remember them," Ash exclaimed as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "And then my friends. They're all depressed and some are even suicidal. And I'm always the one telling them not to overdose or to eat. I just can't take it anymore but I know that they need me. I've already lost someone that meant so much to me. I lost them to an overdose. They overdosed on Advil and they only had it because they had gotten hurt earlier. If only I was there. I feel like this is all my fault. And I have another friend who started cutting again. They get abused at home and they come back every day with 10 new cuts and they look skinnier." Ash was not curled up in a fetus position and she was now bawling her eyes out. "Come here," Alex said with tears in her eyes as she pulled Ash closer to her. Both of their heads buried in each other's shoulders.  "It will get better I promise.  I am always here okay." "Look at me," Alex said while turning Ash's head to meet her face. " You will be fine. I promise. And if you ever need somewhere to go just call me and you can stay over. If you ever get abused at home, call the police and I will fight so you can legally live with me. Okay," Alex sympathized as she wiped away the tears with her thumb that were still falling from Ash's face. Ash nodded still crying. "Thank you, Alex," Ash said as she tried to smile and tightly hug Alex. "Always."

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Hey guys. I know this chapter was a bit dark, but I still wanted to add it. Also, comment if you get the reference at the end. 

Hotlines:

USA: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Canada: https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/

South America: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/South_America/

Europe: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Europe/

Africa:https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Africa/

Asia: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Asia/

I hope this helps. Please reach out for help if you really need it. Please don't give up. Stay safe lovely's~Lu 

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