Burdened (Short Story)

Annalise- Chapter 12

Chapter 12 *5 Months later*

I was rocking Annalise to sleep one night, and after she fell asleep, I have forgotten to feed her for dinner. I woke her up and her little blue eyes had tears because I woke her up from sleeping.

Since Matt and I are over, I live back at my parents house and Annalise sleeps in the baby room. Where currently, I am trying to feed her. While I was feeding her motherly style, I too was falling asleep. After her feeding, I settled into the spare bed for me in the baby room and put Annalise next to me. I was too tired to put her in her crib, I thought she was safe to sleep with me, but as always. I was wrong.

__________________The Next Morning_________________

I fluttered my eyes open and looked to my left to see Annalise still their in her cute little pajamas. I smiled at her, but I didn't see her chest going up and down. I got up and tried to wake her. 

"Annalise?" I whispered.

"Annalise!" I screamed at her and tried to open her eyes. She wasn't moving so I carried her off of the bed and ran to Mom and Dad's room. I opened the door and and woke them up with my crying and screaming.

"She's not waking up! Dad! Mom! Annalise isn't breathing! My baby isn't breathing!" I yelled at them and Mom ran to the nearest house phone to call 911 while Dad was trying to wake Annalise up. 

The Ambulance got here quickly and tried to restart her heart, but it was too late. My little baby girl was dead. The Morgue doctor took her away to see her cause of death while I was on my porch's steps, crying and staring off into the distance. I lost my everything. My heart was gone and so was my humanity. 

I was thinking while crying, to see if there was something wrong, anything wrong. Anything missing. Then it all clicked.

I put Annalise next to me last night. I roll in my sleep. I must've smothered her. Then I cried harder and puled onto my hair after that thought. I killed my own baby. 

I killed Annalise.

______________The Next Week____________________

I walked through the blinding white halls of the hospital with Mom and Dad then we stopped right in front of Dr. Scher's office. 

We walked in without knocking and sat down to her Annalise's cause of death. I blame myself for smothering her. I should go to jail for this. I know I killed her.

"Ms. Charms, I am so sorry for your young loss." Dr. Scher started and I snapped.

"Sorry isn't going to bring my Annalise back." I seethed at her.

"Kenna! Dr. Scher just just said what's common sense to say to a person who lost their loved one. Don't blame her." Mom scowled at me and I didn't care. I just wanted to know if I'm the one to blame for my Annalise's death. 

"It's alright." Dr. Scher assured Mom and looked back to me.

"Ms. Charms, I don't know how to tell you this, but we found no trace of suffocation or abuse to end Annalise's life." Dr. Scher explained.

"How did she die then?" I looked at her with pleading because if I didn't kill her then who did?

"Kenna, I looked into the tissue and blood works of Annalise and she died... of... SIDS." Dr. Scher looked down and let out an exasperated sigh.

"SIDS is Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. It kills infants from 1 month olds to 1 year olds. It appears most commonly during sleeping, but it does not make the baby suffer in pain." Dr. Scher explained to me.

I had tears again and I couldn't handle this.

"So she just dies! Babies just die without warning!What about my case?! What caused Annalise to die in this case?!" I screamed at Dr. Scher in frustration because how could my Annalose just die?

"In your case," Dr. Scher started.

"Mothers under 20 years old can have a risk of SIDS to their children." She looked at me in the eye and I let out an inaudible cry. It is my fault. I basically killed my baby when I got pregnant.

"It's not your fault Kenna." Dr. Scher was trying to cheer me up, but I stood up quickly and ran out of her office. My tears were running down my cheeks while I ran out of the hospital and to the place that I know I had to go sooner or later to explain. The apartment. 

When I got there I got my apartment key and unlocked the door. I went in and saw that the place was slightly messy. I didn't care about that because I'm not here to clean, I'm here to tell Matt about Annalise. 

I heard noises from the bedroom and walked into there. Big mistake. 

Matt was in bed. With another girl. A raven black haired girl with green eyes. 

"Wow. Somebody moves on pretty fast." I crossed my arms acrossed my chest and saw Matt rise up from the bed with the girl clinging onto him. WIth something of mine.

"Is that my softball jersey?" I seethed at her and she looked down at it then shrugged. What a little two faced bit-

"What are you doing here Kenna?" Matt said with fear in his eyes. I had to explain to him about Annalise, but I can feel the bile rising up in my throat.

"It's about Annalise." I started. I could feel the tears coming at the brim of my eye lids.

"Who?" Matt asked, confused. Unbelievable.

"OUR DAUGHTER!" I snapped at him and he had regret in his eyes.

"She died last week from SIDS." I said through my gritted teeth. 

"How?!" Oh now he sounded worried.

"Because i'm 16!" I yelled at him then got the apartment key then threw it at his big ugly head. I had tears again rolling down my cheeks then I ran out. 

I walked back to my parents' home and when I went inside they immediatley stopped talking to stare at me. Dad came up to me and hugged me. I needed one. Then came Mom to hug me. 

We sat down in the living room and they exlained to me how this is going to work out.

Annalise's funeral was coming up in a few days.

Gina knew everything.

I finish High School online.

Then I go to a mental ward to cure my depression. 

I nodded to all of these then went to my room, so I can cry even more. But instead, I went to the baby room and looked around it. She was in here. She was happy and peaceful in here. I went over to the spare bed and hugged Annalise's blue blanket. I cried softly and spent the rest of the day crying about her. 

It will always be my fault.