It's Been a Rollercoaster

This is it.

Dear, Layton
We’ve been friends for 4 years. At first, we were inseparable. We would text late into the night and tell each other everything.
     We were so comfortable with each other. I never realized how I felt about you until you started dating my friend. The jealousy crept into my heart like an evil snake.
     One night you were having a really rough time and I told you I loved you. You were taken aback but said you felt the same way. I wish I hadn’t said that because all the lies you fed me broke my heart.
      Through the course of three or four days you told me you loved me, that you would be my first kiss, and that you would break up with my friend for me.
      I was young and naïve but I believed you. I trusted the boy I had told my secrets to for the past year. You lied.
      At the end of those four days after countless mistakes that made me feel disgusting. You dropped me. I felt worthless. I had fallen in love with you, and you dropped me like a sack of rice.
      This was three years ago and as much as I wish I didn’t still love you, I do. I think it’s going to take a lot for me to truly be over you. I didn’t see you for weeks after that last night.
     The next time I saw you, you acted like it never happened. You abandoned me in every sense of the word. You were distant and cold.
      I remember going on a walk with you soon after you started dating someone from your school. You told me how much you loved her and how you could see yourself marrying her. I would smile and laugh with you as you talked. I was glad you were happy, but it hurt so much that it wasn’t with me.
        It took years before I could truly tell you how I felt again. I had grown oddly dependent on you. I’m not anymore, but I still think about you a lot. I still imagine what could have been.
       I hope someday I don’t feel this hurt anymore, and I’m glad that it’s not as bad as before. You’re still my friend, and I want nothing but happiness for you. I just wish that happiness was me.