Confessions of A Teen Mom

Chapter 4

Positive. That's what the test reads, positive. I'm sitting in the bathroom staring at the pregnancy test I picked up on my lunch break. Pregnant. Me. Pregnant. I bury my head in my hands and groan. "This is terrible. Just terrible" I mutter. Remember three weeks ago when i was feeling nauseous and my period was late? Well after it never came I suspected I was pregnant. I picked up the test today and i'm pregnant. 

 How am I going to tell Ben? Better yet, how am i going to tell my parents? My dad will kill me. My mom will be so disappointed. I stuff the test in my bag and go out of the stall. I wash my hands and look in the mirror. "I knew i should've made him use protection" I mutter. 

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's. How may i help you?" I smile at the customer and then type in her order. After a few more boring hours of taking orders my shift is finally over. I head outside and wait for Tori. I smile when I see her car and get inside. "My feet are killing me" I groan and put on my seat belt. Tori laughs, "I told you that you should've gotten an internship like me" she says. "I wanted to get paid. Not work long boring hours for free" I say. Tori shrugs and starts driving to my house.  

"Do you want to come to my house tonight? Gem will be there, we can watch chick flicks all night and eat candy" she says. I nod, "Yeah i could really use that right now" I say. "Why? What's going on? I mean besides the obvious." she asks. "I'll tell you when we get there. I'd rather only say so once." I text my mom to let her know i'll be going over to Tori's house. Tori pulls in front of her home right as Gem parks her car behind us. "What's up amigas?" Gem says. I smirk and hug her. "Nothing much, what about you?" "Same old, same old." she responds.  

An hour later we're curled up in blankets on Tori's bedroom floor watching Titanic. "No matter how many time I watch this I cry" I sniffle and blow my nose. "I won't let go" Gem whispers along with Rose. Tori rolls her eyes. "Ya'll are such babies" she mumbles. "You were the one crying over The Notebook" I say. I pause the movie and sit up. "I have something to tell ya'll" I say. Gem wipes her eyes and sits up. "You know you can tell us anything." she says, Tori nods and sits up too. I rub my hands together and look down at my lap. "I'm pregnant" I say. 

There's a beat of silence before Tori bursts out laughing. "Yeah right. Nice try."she cackles and grabs some popcorn. I shake my head. "I'm serious" I pull out the  test from earlier. Gem's eyes widen. "You're really pregnant? What did your parents say?" she asks. "I mean obviously she hasn't told them, otherwise she wouldn't be over here." Tori says. I throw the test down. "I just found out today. My period was real late and I've been feeling nauseous for the past few weeks." I say. 

"How are you going to tell your parents? What are you going to do? Are you gonna tell Ben? Are you gonna keep it?" Gem asks. Tori pops her arm. "Stop asking her so many questions. She said she just found out today." she says. I lay back and sigh. "I'm not sure what i'm going to do as far as keeping the baby. I think i'm just gonna come right out and tell my parents, then decide." "They're gonna be so disappointed" I whisper as my eyes water. A tear falls down my cheek and my girls hug me. "It'll be alright Pep. You'll figure out something. And whatever you decide you know we've got your back." Gem says. Tori nods in agreement. 

I smile weakly and hug them back. "I know you guys do. That's why I love you." I say. "And we love you." Tori says. Soon after we all fall asleep still hugging each other. The next morning I carefully remove myself from the girls' arms careful not to wake them. I go into the bathroom and splash water on my face then relieve myself. I brush my teeth and then smooth my hair up into a ponytail. I shower and change into some of my spare clothes I keep at Tori's house.  

Later that day after Tori has dropped me off at home I sit up in my room coming up with a plan on how to tell my parents. After stalling for a few more minutes I go downstairs and find my mom and dad in the living room. Mom looks up when I enter. "Hi pumpkin. What's wrong?" she asks when she sees my face. I take a deep breath and turn off the TV. "We need to talk" I say slowly. Dad frowns confused and sit back. "Alright, you know you can tell us anything." he says. I nod and take another deep breath. "You guys will be so disappointed." I say as my eyes well with tears. Mom hugs me, "Honey what ever is it, we'll figure it out." she says. I nod and tell them the news. 

"Pregnant?" Dad asks dumbfounded. "Is this some kind of joke? Because it isn't funny. How did this even happen Pepper?!" he asks. "Honey you know how it happened." mom says softly. I stare at the ground silently. "Of course I know how it happened Mel! I just don't understand. We talked to you about using protection Pepper! We told you that we preferred you waited until you were older, but that if you thought you were ready to come talk to us so we could get you on birth control!" he yells. I bounce my leg as I wipe the fast falling tears. "David don't yell at her. She already feels bad enough. Now just sit down and let's all calm down" mom says, ever the voice of reason and calmness.  

Dad huffs and plops down on the couch. "Pepper, how? How could you let this happen? My little girl, pregnant" his voice breaks. My chest racks with a sob. "I know! I know daddy, and i'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" I cry. Mom wraps her arm around me and rocks me gently whispering soothing words. Dad stands up. "I-I can't even look at you right now." he shakes his head and walks out. I cry harder. "Dad, wait. Please, i'm sorry." I whisper. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Emmett asks walking in. I jump up and run upstairs. I plop down on my bed and sob into my pillow.  

Later that night I still haven't removed myself from my position. My arms ache, i'm cold, and my nose is stuffy. I remain motionless when I hear my door open.  Mom comes in and rubs my back. "Hon, please come downstairs and eat something." she says. I roll over and sit up. "How mad is he?" I ask. She purses her lips. "He's more disappointed than anything. He wants you downstairs so the three of us can talk." I nod and stand up. I make my way to the kitchen and mom follows close behind me. She passes me a plate of food and a mug of hot chocolate. I sip from it and stare at my plate. 

"First things first, have you told Ben?" dad asks. I shake my head. "Alright have you decided what you want to do regarding the...your pregnancy?" he asks. I glance up and look back down when I see he won't even meet my gaze. "No not yet." I say. "We'll we need to decide. First I want you to know abortion is not an option." he says. Mom glares at him. If you didn't know some Texans are kinda big on religion. Coming from a Christian background our family doesn't believe in abortions. I nod. "I know it isn't" I shove the food around on my plate. 

"You need to eat." Mom says wiping down the counter. I shove some pinto beans in my mouth and put the fork back down. I look up when my dad places his hand on top of mine. "Pepper i'm extremely, extremely disappointed in you. But that doesn't change the fact that I- we still love you. Whatever you decide we'll be right by your side." he says. Tears prick my eyes and roll down my face as I nod. Dad stands up and walks over to my side of the table, he wraps his arms around me and hugs me. 

 Mom joins in the hug, I lean into my parents as sobs rack my body. "We'll make you a doctor's appointment first thing in the morning to find out how far along you are. You need to call Ben and invite him and his parents over soon. Maybe tomorrow. They need to know." Mom says. Even though I know she's right I really wish I didn't have to involve Ben. But I know that he has a right to know.