Chapter 19: Smile

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A quick warning before you start reading, this chapter may or may not contain some dark topics like depression, cutting and stuff, if it triggers you, do not read. If it doesn't, well, then you can go ahead. Just thought you should know.

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{While (Y/N) was escaping the Manor with Gideon and Pacifica...}

I buried my face in my hands. I want it to end. I want the pain to end. I don't want to see him anymore.

I feel a whip tear at my skin, opening a fresh wound...

There was a soft knock on the door, "Master? Can I come in?"

I feel a sharp pain in my cheek...

"No."

"Master, you need to eat."

I taste a something metallic and sharp in my mouth...

"Go away."

"Please, you cannot starve yourself."

I feel my body shivering and shaking...

I wasn't starving myself, I have no appetite.

"Master?"

"Just leave."

"I will never leave you...ever...you'll be mine...forever"

There was a pause. Then footsteps, followed by silence. A bitter smile played across my face, if only I could do that, if only I could just walk away...

A baseball bat connected with my thigh, I felt the bone shatter...

I reached into my pocket and took out a small scapel.

Just one cut. I promise. Just to ease the pain...it's worth it.

Don't you dare, you depressed freak.

I need it, it'll distract me from everything...

Such a loser, no wonder Father hated you so much.

Drop the knife, let me help.

Don't listen, he's trying to push you aside.

The shackles bit into my wrists, drawing blood...

I finally gave in, I pressed the blade onto my forearm, watching as the dark red liquid spill out. Pain shot up my arm, my brain begging for me to stop.

But something did stop, the hallucinations. I lifted and shifted the knife and press it once again to my arm. Again and again.

I didn't know when I lost too much blood to remain conscious, I collapsed onto the floor, in a pool of my own blood, my scapel still in my hand...

[Dipper's POV]

"M-Master...I...p-please wake u-up...p-please." I woke up to my body aching from head to toe, my head groggy and the smell of blood everywhere. I let out a soft groan of pain, my body felt like it was filled with sand yet it was almost empty. My head was screaming in agony and I couldn't quite move even if I wanted to.

"Master! Oh, y-you're awake! I...I can ex-explain!" The words seemed to flow past me, not quite received by my eardrums. I felt someone help me up, "P-Please stay awake, j-just for a m-moment."

A bright blue flash engulfed the both of us, the headache faded gradually and the groggy feeling vanished. I regained control over the body and could finally move freely without my bones aching in protest.

Will helped me up and steadied me on my feet. His clothes were already stained with crimson blood but he didn't seem to be bothered about it.

"I-I d-didn't know, i-if I did, this w-won't happen! I p-promise!" he stuttered, gazing at the blood puddle on the floor.

I sighed in response, there was nothing he could have done anyways. "You can leave, I'll clean up after myself."

"M-Master...the portal reopens today, d-don't we need to s-send Mistress home?" he reminded. It took me a moment to fully understand what he meant by that. I groaned when it came to me, Mabel, ugh.

"Sure, I'll get it settled," I said while opening a drawer to take some bandages. I went on auto-pilot mode as I wrapped up my bleeding arms and thighs. My hands moved by muscle memory, hardly needing me to instruct them anymore and in no time, the wounds were dressed, bandaged and covered with clothing.

Before I left the room, I caught sight of myself in the mirror, the body was pale from the constant abuse it went through, yet it stubbornly stayed together. I glanced at the birthmark of the forehead, the cause of all of this, the cause of the spiral I was trapped in.

Don't fall apart, not now, not ever. Put on a smile, super glue it on if you have to. A lie will become the truth if told enough times.

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Like reading about depression and feeling like the world is totally against you? Then I have the perfect author! huelaisconfused writes the best books about love, suicidal girls and depression!

In all seriousness, please check her stories out! They are honestly phenomenal and well written and definitely worth checking out if you are looking for something to read.

Huela, if you are reading this, keep up the good work!

Welp, that was a short chapter...hope you forgive me...I was just trying to get that out of the way. :) BYE!!!

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