Story Bonuses

Reacting to Living Without Her

So, I've decided to start this book for extra special bits from all of my books. To commemorate almost 3k reads on Living Without Her, I'm going to react to this story. I started it in the beginning of 2018, but I'd had an idea for it for about 2 years before I started writing. I remember being very proud of it and honestly? It is not very good. I took a lot of inspiration from other stories, I'll list a few of them here.

Roomate To My Childhood Billy by XxSA_ChillidogsxX
Sonic Boom: A Sweet Secret by XxBoom_LoverxX
Romeo's Balcony by The_Phoenix_Ninja101
4 Princes 1 Rose by Freedthebutterfly401
A New Rose by XxSA_ChillidogsxX

So, I'll react to the prologue, chapter 1, and chapter 2 in this chapter. My current thoughts will be written in bold and italics.

"Sonic! Where are you!?" Yelled a rose pink hedgehog "Tails hide me!" Whispered Sonic to Tails. Tails picked up Sonic and flew away "See ya later!" Yelled Sonic laughing
Why the hell are 'whispered' and 'yelled' capitalized. That bugs me a lot.
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"Sonic" screamed Amy jumping on him "Amy get off me!" Sonic replied pushing Amy off and running away at the speed of sound. Amy ran after the blue blur "I'll get you one day sonic.
This is just plain cringy
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"Sonic, will you go on a date with me" asked Amy. "If I do will you shut up?" Sonic asked.
That's not how it works. My thought process was that Sonic actually did want to go out with her but was too cool to say it.
"Ya sure!" Answered Amy.
No one writes 'ya' in professional writing. That's just stupid.
"Fine" replied Sonic.

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Amy stood outside the restaurant she and Sonic had agreed to meet at. It was an hour past the time they had agreed to meet. As it began to rain, Amy trudged home, her new pink chiffon dress dragging behind her stained with tears.
Actually kinda proud of this paragraph but still cringy
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Sonic ran to the restaurant "Amy?! Are you still here?" He asked. "Dang it, she is not here."
No shit Sherlock
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Actual first chapter coming soon!
Wow, even my authors notes are cringy

Chapter 2

"Why do I even bother?" Thought Amy pacing around her room.
There was noise from outside her window and she peeked out. Sonic and Tails were walking outside. "This is my chance!" Amy gasped.
Okay, so a second ago you were saying that you shouldn't even try and suddenly now it's  'your chance'. LAZY WRITING
She ran outside and tackled Sonic.
"Get off me you idiot" Yelled an angry Sonic.
"You know what, you're crazy!" Sonic said as rage bubbled up inside of him.
"Sometimes I wish you would just go away!"
This was honestly such lazy writing. I couldn't think of a way to get Amy to leave so here's some out of character yelling.
Tears fell from Amy's eye
Yes, I too only have 1 eye
"Then goodbye Sonic" Amy whispered running away.
And why did no one do anything about that? Idiots.

                                                                  ~~~~~~Sonic P.O.V.~~~~~~~~

"I'm really sure why I did that." I said to Tails.
Because I'm a terrible author
"Didn't you always have a little crush on her?" Tails asked.
It was true, I always had a little crush on her but I was too shy to tell her.
Not too shy, too cool.
"I gotta run" I told Tails and before he could say anything in response I was gone. I paced around my room. Why did I say that to Amy, I definitely didn't think that of her now, maybe when I was younger but not now! Whatever, I'm sure it'll be fine.
BISH IT AINT GONNA BE FINE. Honestly, just go and apologize to her or something.