toy || randy

thirty - four. // finale

when andy woke up, he felt actually safe for once.

rye's arms were wrapped around his waist, their legs were intertwined and andy had his head in crook of rye's neck.

it felt so right to be right there in rye's embrace, in his bed and his arms. after the restless nights that he spent completely terrified of what was going to happen, this was a great change. andy closed his eyes again, cuddled up into rye even more, which made rye wake up.

"morning." he said, getting up from the bed and making andy roll away. they smiled at each other. everything seemed so good, so perfect and so loving. it felt like they finally figured out what they were supposed to know from the beginning. andy smiled at the thought of last night, all the kisses they shared and all the rushed breaths. all the sweat and tears even though how loving it all was. the thought of rye's hands all over his body made him blush and look down.

andy got dressed and went into the kitchen, not sure how to go there since they've slept in rye's bedroom. when he found his way, he found rye in front of the oven, cooking some pancakes and humming to some weird pop song. andy got a flashback on how this happened when him and rye first met. he smiled at the thought and sat down on a table. rye turned around and the sight made him roll his eyes playfully before giving andy his food.

"thanks," andy said, biting into the pancake. rye just admired the look on his face; he was so precious and sweet. someone who deserved so much better than this. he sighed. he has to do what he has to do.

"andy i... we need to talk about something." rye said, making andy look up and nod, still with a slight smile on his face. andy felt safe, he felt stable, after so many years of unsure life he knew he found his clarity. and that was rye.

rye sat down on a couch and waited for andy to join him, which happened only after few minutes. when he looked into andy's eyes, he felt his heart break and crush, he knew that what he was about to do was for the better but it was going to hurt him. but if you truly love someone, you need to let them go, right? andy deserved so much happiness; not this.

"i need you to leave, i- i already talked about it with other people and we made a deal that they're not going to hurt you. i-i'm sorry, i just have to do this..." he looked down, avoiding andy's eyes.

andy's breath was stuck in his throat. his eyes filled with tears as he felt rye put his arm away from his hip. "i'm not leaving you, ryan. w-what are you even thinking?!" he yelled at him, standing up and then falling back down on the couch, his heart in pieces and his face in his hands. "i-i'm not fucking going anywhere!"

rye sighed. "you don't deserve to go through this all with me. i can't keep dragging you down with me. i cant keep on hurting you, okay?!" he yelled back, his eyes wet and glossy. andy just glanced at him, his breath rushed. "you're not serious right now! please rye. please, just... don't do this to me," he whispered. rye just shook his head.

"we can start over a-and everything can be perfect, we can pretend like none of this ever happened, we can be happy... please rye, i don't want us to end. i don't want this all to end. i don't have anyone else. i don't want anyone else," andy was full on crying now. he wasn't expecting any of this. he was scared, he was upset and he was tired of this, everything going the wrong way all the fucking time.

"there was never an us, andy."

"but i fucking love you! i can't- i just can't live without you, rye! don't you get this?! you don't want anyone to hurt me, but everything the others ever did to me was nothing compared to you! because you made me love you and now you're telling me to leave. i don't want to leave," he threw the plate he was eating from before on the ground, it fell into tiny pieces. rye looked into andy's eyes, both boys were crying by now.

"i love you too, andy. that's why i want to keep you safe and find happiness. you deserve it after all of this," the pain rye was feeling in his chest was unbelievable, he never felt this way before. not even when he lost his mum. it was just so fucking intense, his lungs felt heavy, his chest was tight, his heart was broken. he just wanted andy to go and live his life, happily. without rye always ruining everything.

"you're my fucking happiness, ryan beaumont." andy said, tears rolling down his cheeks. his eyes were red and puffy.

"your suitcase is in your room, i left you a credit card so you can get an apartment or something... please take care of yourself." rye said.

"fuck you. if you let me leave now, i'll never come back," was all andy said before rye just nodded and looked down.

and so, he left.

a/n: sorry, i had to. :(
i cried writing this tbh, epilogue is coming out tomorrow as well as the sequel
i will write an author's note later.
please give me some of your thoughts:)