Free Me

TWO

"Ammie my legs... My bones... They're paining me..." Arafah cried on her sick bed. She was just placed on drip. Ammie comforted her and massaged her legs lightly. She hated seeing her little princess in pain 'cause she could hardly bear it. She always cried whenever Arafah was in crises. It hurt to see the little girl cry and wince in pain.

"Ssshhh... Don't cry my dear. The pain will go once the drip is finished" Ammie said reassuringly but Arafah wouldn't stop crying. It took a while before she slowly drifted off to sleep.

Ammie sighed as she rested her back on the chair she was sitting, holding her little princess's hands in hers. She stared at her daughter. She was as fragile as a baby. At six, she still had the figure of a four year old. And she was as slim as a broomstick. She was okay the day before yesterday, complained of headache and body pain yesterday, and today, things got worse and she had to be taken to the hospital.

Ammie let out a deep breath. There was no day she didn't come to the hospital. And if at all she skipped a day without coming, then she wouldn't spend more than three days before coming back to the hospital. It was either one child or the other. The doctors were already used to seeing her everyday. The day before yesterday, it was Salim, Arafah's immediate older brother. Yesterday was Abbas, her fourth son and today was Arafah. She wondered who it would be tomorrow. She sighed at the thought. If she should have a second name, then anxiety would be her name.

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The sun shone brightly above her, making her rethink over her choice of staying in doors through out today. She was sitting in the garden, a bowl of fruits beside her and her portfolio in front of her. It contained a lot of paintings. Paintings she did at her leisure time. It had been her hobby since she was a kid and at 18, she only got better. She depicted her imaginations in painting. Some she interpreted in a sensible manner and others, one might decide to call them rubbish but as meaningless as they might appear, they were beautiful.

Today, she wasn't painting but was going through her old paintings. Nusayba was boldly written on the portfolio. She ran her finger across her name before she opened it. She began to look at the paintings one after the other. The ones from her childhood were mostly from the animations she watched as a kid. The only difference was a little addition or subtraction from the real image. Like she imagined Barney from Barney and Friends as a girl and would be more beautiful if she wore a high heel and held a bag, and stood with her legs crossed just like a model. And she painted a girl Barney with slim legs and hands like that of a human, but the whole body was Barney's. As a kid, she admired it and saw it more beautiful. But as she looked at it today, she laughed and laughed. It looked crazy.

"I was such a crazy kid" She muttered amid laughter.

Her phone buzzed and she reached for it. The caller ID read Mum.

"Darling you're awake already?" Her mum's voice came immediately she picked up.

"Muuuum?! It's almost noon. You want me to sleep all day?"

"Ow Ow... Yeah. I didn't check the time. So you've had breakfast?" Her mum asked.

"Yes"

"And your drugs?"

"Muum!" She whined. She hated it when her mum treated her like a six year old.

"O-kay. I was just asking. Call me if you need anything" Her mum said and hung up.

Nusayba sighed. If only her parents would spare her some time, then she would have been more than grateful. She had all the luxury of life, but she lacked love. Or maybe it was just the way her parents showed her love, that she was not satisfied with. They would call her on phone every now and then, to inquire if she had eaten and taken her drugs, and if she needed anything so they could get it for her on their way back home. But that was not enough. In fact, it was annoying to her. She needed them to spend time with her. But their profession was not one to mess with. Having a medical doctor as a mother and a medical lab scientist as a father, Nusayba had learned to be happy alone. She had learnt to accept the fact her parents were life savers even though they had almost failed to save the life of their daughter once. Yes. She had sickle cell anemia coupled with asthma and that was why they were always asking whether she had taken her drugs. Always calling on phone to show that they care when actually she needed their presence more than their calls.

Nusayba grew up alone. With nannies and house helps since she was a kid. And because she was a sickler, she was not allowed to do anything. She was very fragile. Her driver always dropped and picked her from school. Then that day, she suddenly went into crises and her parents were not home. She could remember vividly. She was 12. The driver and her nanny had rushed her to the nearest hospital before they rang the parents. Nusayba almost lost her life that day. She had multiple attacks and multiple transfusions. Only that day, her parents regretted not being there for her. She thought they would make out some time for her out of their busy lives after that incident but what? They hired her a personal nurse who was always with her 24/7.
Though it was tiring going around with a nurse, she had to accept the fact that she needed her as much as she disliked her presence. And as much as she hated to believe it, it was true that she was not like any other child and will have to live with the burden of sickle cell anemia for the rest of her life.

She waved off the thought as she took a bite from her apple. She had finished secondary school and waiting for admission was tiring. Boredom was killing her. She was thinking of paying her uncle a visit, at least to while away some time.
She picked up her phone and dialed her mum's number.

"Yes Darling don't end the call please... No Dr Hamza... This patient needs admission and we're going to admit him right away" Nusayba heard her mum say. She waited for her to finish and give her her attention. And after a minute, she was back on the call.

"Sorry darling. What's the problem?" Her mum asked and Nusayba was quiet.

"Hello? Are you there?"

"I want to go to Uncle Mik's house" Nusayba blurted.

"It's okay. Let the driver drop you. Your dad and I will pick you up after work" Her mum said and before she could say another word, Nusayba ended the call. She was upset. It was only when they called that they had time for her, but if she called, they were always busy. Understand and get used to it Nusayba. A voice in her said and she hissed at it. She had been trying to understand and get used to it since she was a kid and right up till this moment. But it seems she'd never get used to it.
She picked her portfolio and went inside to dress up. She was ready in no time and the driver dropped her and her nurse at Uncle Mik's house in Jan Bulo third gate. Uncle Mika'il, who was called Uncle Mik for short, was her maternal Uncle and her fave. And today, she didn't ring him. She was giving him a surprise visit.

The car pulled up in front of the house and she hopped out. She walked happily to the door and turned the door knob but the sight before her made her come to a halt. Uncle Mik was having a quarrel with his wife. They were so into the quarrel that they didn't notice her.

"Hamna why for heaven's sake did you do that?" Uncle Mik's voice was croaky. He looked upset. Confusion was boldly written on his face.

"Mik I loved you. I... I couldn't bear to loose you. I... I still love you... " Aunt Hamna said in tears.

"Oh shut up! What love Hamna? What love? Is it not better to sacrifice that love for the sake of your unborn children? Hamna I know what it feels like to see sicklers in pain and being unable to relieve them of that pain. It's very very painful. And that was what I was avoiding that the very first day I met you, I asked of your genotype. Now what will happen to our child? Will he ever forgive us?"

"Mik I'm sorry. I really am. He'll be fine. Let's... Let's just find a solution" She said. She was so confused.

"Mik let's adopt babies from now on but please don't leave me" Aunt Hamna cried holding Uncle Mik's hands.

"Adopt babies? When you and I are healthy enough to have our own? You think it's going to work? If it were going to work, why didn't my sister do it? She got married to her husband knowing well that he was an AS. Both of them knew. But because they were blinded by love, they risked it. And what did it get them into? Loosing their babies. They lost two before Nusayba. In fact, she's the only one who's lived this long. They could have just stopped having babies and adopted some. But the joy of having your blood is different... "

Nusayba stopped listening from here. All that kept on coming back to her was her Uncle's statements. She had two siblings who died before her? And they were like her? She's the only one who's lived this long? How comes she never knew?
She felt the world around her revolving and within the twinkle of an eye, everywhere went black. She passed out.

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