The Shape of Goats

Johanna

Noah wondered if he was supposed to meet Johanna, the same way he met all the other protagonists of Charon's stories. But when he asked her, she simply replied, "Eventually." Her answer was so brief that he didn't bother asking any other question guessing that she wasn't in the right mood. However, he couldn't help but ask himself why she made him speak to those haunted by ghosts.

He really couldn't help it, so he asked anyways.

"I thought it would make you feel better if you got the chance to share your experiences with theirs," she said.

Noah had a feeling that she wanted him to see how lucky he was for not being haunted by a weird or aggressive ghost, but he didn't say anything. He knew he deserved that treatment.

They walked for a long time, until the wide streets became thinner and thinner, turning into small lanes. The huge glassy modern office buildings were replaced by smaller and older apartment buildings with walls coloured with dirt, stains and poverty. After a while, the streets changed again, now decorated with rubbish and animal droppings.

Noah was starting to worry about his safety, as he turned the umpteenth corner.

He bumped into someone. His hands rushed to his pockets making sure everything was at its rightful place.

"I remember you." Liah fixed her coat and bag, "what are you doing here?"

Noah mumbled something quickly, and then asked "What about you?"

"Came to visit Link."

"Let's go," whispered Charon in his ear as if Liah could hear her.

"How's he doing?" asked Noah, ignoring Charon.

"He is stressed right now, but he won't tell me why," she sighed. "Last time I saw him this nervous was four months ago, just before he disappeared." Her eyes squinted, studying Noah's expression, "do you happen to know anything about that?"

He shook his head, "didn't even know about this... when did he come back?"

Liah looked rather surprised by Noah's reaction, "he just came back to Walt about a month ago."

He nodded slowly, unsure if the conversation was worth continuing. Liah did the same, but ultimately decided to take the initiative and dismissed herself.

Without wasting any more time, Charon began speaking again, directing Noah to wherever she needed him to go, and twenty minutes later, they finally stopped. In front of him, a building of modest height, painted with the same colours as the neighbouring ones. The only difference were the windows that looked made of wood instead of metal. Or was it just worn out metal?

Noah pushed the locked gate, but it didn't open. Of course, what did he expect?

"Push harder."

So he did, and after a few tries he was inside, walking up the thin stairs. The smell of pickled tuna and the sight of dust webs accompanied him to the front door of one of the flats.

"I assume you lived here," asked Noah.

Charon made a noise of disapproval. "This is where people like me come to get their lives back. Are you sure you want to help me out?"

Noah nodded, realising his hands were sweating. In many ways, he was feeling the same way he felt in the staff room. His fingers were restless, fiddling with the heavy air with a will of their own. He asked himself how he got in that situation. Ghosts existed, and they were people deprived of their bodies. Smile. He wondered if he would start seeing zombies and dragons next.

He was so absorbed into redeeming himself that he forgot to ask how they were going to retrieve her body; he was so selfish. "How do we do this?"

"Knock and go inside, you will be able to see me."

Every time he asked himself if he was ready, he responded the same way: all you have to do is knock on the door. He imagined Charon's face, an anxious yet excited expression must be glued on her, and that filled him with pride. How did she look? Was she pretty or ugly? Short or tall? Noah imagined her to be a well composed girl, someone with a strong but caring personality. Her speech reminded him of those posh girls at school that do not feel the need to show the world how rich they are. An overall pleasant person.

Noah knocked.

There were no creaks as the door opened in one smooth motion revealing the blurry insides. The courage he mustered, shook with uncertainty as he stood there unable to step inside. Wherever he looked, a glassy mist would somewhat reflect his shape back to him. He pressed his lips tight together and clenched his fists as he stepped into the mist.

He found himself standing in front the closed door in the same position he was in before he knocked. However, by his side there was a young girl dressed with formal clothes. She was slightly chubby with a few freckles on her face, partially covered by her beautiful curly red hair. Noah smiled.

But she didn't smile back, instead, her hazel eyes faltered before filling with tears.

Noah stepped forward wanting to comfort her but she pushed him away. She looked at him and tears started running down her cheeks.

"What's happening?"

"I'm sorry Noah." She took a tissue out of her pocket and dried her tears. "It's like Frans said, it will always end in a tragedy."

Noah watched her confused, "Charon, what happened?"

"My name is not Charon, it's Johanna" she was about to start crying again. "We switched places Noah, I'm sorry." She was crying again.

Noah touched his body to feel his clothes, his skin and his warmth. Everything was where it should be, so what was she talking about? "What do you mean you're Johanna? What do you mean we switched places? I'm right here, can't you see?"

"Charon is a made-up name. And it doesn't matter if you can see yourself, because nobody else can. You are a ghost Noah, the same way I was and the same way Lincoln, Frans and Barbara were before me. I switched places with Lincoln. Lincoln switched with Frans and Frans switched with Barbara."

Noah took a step backward and knocked on one of the neighbouring flats. He shivered when he heard nothing. There was no sound when his fists pounded on the wooden door. He tried again, in vain. Johanna looked at him with tired and guilty eyes.

"Why did you do this?" Noah was at a loss of words.

"What else could I have done? If I had the chance, I would have stopped all of this. I don't even know how it started or who started it! Barbara is dead so we can't ask her who she exchanged places with!"

Noah was shaking. Anger, anxiety and terror rushed inside of him. His whole world, his beliefs were in turmoil. He thought about everything that happened to him after he met her and realised how stupid he was. Lincoln didn't want to see him since he ashamed of what he did to Johanna, and Frans didn't warn him because he did it to Lincoln. And of course, Lincoln never disappeared four months ago. He was Johanna's ghost.

"You disgust me." That was all he could say.

"You will understand why I did this Noah. Find someone that can replace you and bring them here," she wiped her tears. "I'm sorry Noah," she said as she ran down the stairs.

What a fool he was.

He walked down the stairs to see Johanna leave, free from her curse. Running to her parents and friends.

What was he going to do now?