PILLOW THOUGHTS

the sky is an ocean

for kaaterinapetrova; thank you for all your support on my last poetry book; it means a lot that someone likes my poetry enough to comment and let me know :))

• • •

i am drowning on the
rooftop; head in the
clouds, suffocating on
thin air and condensation;
the wind tugs at me in
all directions like it's
trying to tell me: pull
yourself apart, it'll make you
free - my thoughts are
lost in these currents as
they carry me off my feet;
the sky is an ocean,
that must be why i cannot
breathe.

the world exists outside
my window, kept at bay
with thin glass, and i
press my hand against
it; it's all so much, how
can anyone contain it?
cars on the roads outside
and braver people on the
streets: won't you lose
yourself in the masses too?
you'll feel better, once you're
just like everyone else -
the glass bulges but does
not break, not today, so i
take a breath
pull up the covers
and try not to think
of all the ways the world
outside could swallow me
up; the world is locked
outside my window,
there is nothing here.

the stars are in the water
tonight; the pool is quiet
and so i try to be too; the
sky is clear and so the stars
wink at me from the pool;
come on in, we could
keep you safe, the
world can't touch you
when you're underwater;
the moon has fallen
into the water and it
ripples when i dip my foot
in; the stars are at my feet.