stainless love💜

chap 1

Quick note: this story is updated. I have published a second book for this story (love of our soul) so i had to change some of the time line in this story. Now basically this story happens in early 1960s.
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let me start my story by telling u about myself a little bit, I'm Jung Leo, the only Mr. Jung child. my father was one of first the company founders in Seoul and he was working directly with many farmers, we had a dairy production. When I was born Korea was just a country in the far east, and under japan ruling, and soon Korea involved in many wars, and  then modernization but the story is about struggles of my personal life in a cruel world.

November 1, 1939 the day I was born, the only they my dad was happy and proud of me, that days having a son and inheritance was so important.
frankly I never felt my parents love, like any parents love their child, well Let's get to the story, so u can understand me.
I had no one to play with, my dad always was busy with works and my mom always went from one friends' company to another one, she liked to boasting and bragging, and my parents hated each other that they never tried for any other kid, all those lovey dovey feeling toward each other was only a show for others.
until the day he came to our house, Kim Ravi. That day I was around 5 years old.
I was so happy for that I could have a same age friend for playing. I would take his hand and we would run around the garden and playing all day long.
So soon me and Ravi came out to be best friends but my parents didn't like it since they thought he's not at our dignity, and it’s not right their little kid playing with a poor kid. even once I heard my dad told Mr. Kim “I don't like it when ur son playing with mine” then he replied “i'm sorry, it won't happen again.”
every time we went to shopping I would cry and insist to just buy a little thing for him, but my parents wouldn’t regularly do that.
Our birthday was at same day, so when they throw a big party for me he had to stay in his small room. it was my mom's order, she thought it brings bad luck for me. so I would never eat my piece of cake, then going to the kitchen and fire up a candle for him. I would celebrated his birthday in my own way.
that days we were kids and servants loved us and would helped us to playing and hanging around behind my parents back.
Only favor my dad had done to Ravi was to letting him to come to our school. even though he wasn't a top student, he wasn't a bad student too. A quick note we were in an all boy school.
i never forget that he wasn’t allowed to ride with me and must had walked the whole way and that would take around an hour and half. so somehow I always would found an excuse for being late to saying to my mom since I was walking with him.

yes... i know all servants loved us and our friendship and would helped us to hide this innocent friendship from my parents.

Later when I was grown up I found out his mother has passed away at giving birth to him and his father was a farmer and for 5 years after his birth he was broken and he used to think it's all because of Ravi's bad luck. That’s why they came to our house to make up for his dads broke past and they lived in a small room like other servants. that was so heart breaking for me.

One thing my dad had never known about was that Ravi was like a bodyguard to me in school. I was a good target for their bullying. I was actually too bored and tired of their bullies so I would never showed a reaction but Ravi was the opposite, he would yell and kick just to release his anger. so every time someone would hurt me, he would kick their ass off.
Someday, a bully guy pushed me and I fell on the ground, then when I tried to stand up he pushed me again. that was when my hero showed up. Ravi came and he was served with a punch and some kicks from Ravi.
later on he and his gang beaten us up as vengeance and my parents said u shouldn't hanging around with Ravi and that's why u've beaten up, we know U're a good boy and Ravi gets you in troubles. and i still remember the insult my dad had said to him and the hard slap on Ravi cheek. I remember how silently Ravi had held his head down and how he begged for forgiveness, he even said it’s all his fault. That memory still makes me sad.

But they were wrong, nothing could break our friendship.

I was 15 years when teachers talked about puberty and sex and all the details. then one night I had a dream about sleeping next to Ravi and our lips touched. when I woke up at the morning my boxer was wet. I didn't dare to tell anybody and it repeated almost all night. so I started to think I have gone crazy. I mean why I would imagine these things with Ravi instead of girls. In 50’s it was a huge deal to show affection to another boy, no matter where u had lived.
It got worse by every touches, looks, words we shared, like my heart was in a race just every time he would call my name, I mean why?!

After a while me and my parents joined a boring party where all dads talking about their monthly sharing profit and all moms about fashion and the travel, so u can guess how bored I was then.
_Leo come here...
Hongbin took my wrist and dragged me to a room
+oh...hey guys I was looking for u…
_shhh hyuk want to say an important secret…
10 sons of most important persons in Korea’s financial were dying to hear hyuk's secret
_ok guys u have to swe..
Doyuong didn’t let hyuk to finish
_we swear…just say it…im dying to know…
_my cousin fell in love with a boy…
_so?!...
_u stupids…my cousin is a boy…
_what?!...
_they met in college…they say they really love each other and want to run away to a far village next weekend…from their parents…
_how long are they together?...
_more than a year…
_why u say this to us?...
_uhm...cuz i met them yesterday and it was a lil...I don’t know it wasn’t normal…
_how they treat each other, though?...
_like any newly couple…so lovey dovey…
Then some thought ran through my mind, I mean I couldn’t focus on anything cuz I had some blurry thoughts
_i have a serious question, how they have sex?
I came back to the world by taeyang question, hyuk shrugged so jiyoung responded
_I read a book…it has a lot of erotica pictures of two men having sex…
+how?...
_one laid on the bed and the other put his dick in his ass…
+where can I find that book?...
I burst out suddenly
_naughty leo...its ur lucky day…cuz I have them now…come with me…
jiyoung and I walked to their car, he opened the door and took his bag, then he handed me 3 books.
+why u have them now?...
_u know my parents…if they find it…I’m dead…
+I returned it after I read it…
_actually u can keep it…I have read it and don’t want it anymore…and it’s little risky…they search my room occasionally for any cigarette…so keep it…
+tnx though…

So when I came back home from that boring party I laid on my bed and started to reading the books. The first book was about tow men who are really in love and can’t be together for their families’ position, I related to that book a lot. It was only written and no pictures but had explained the whole sex so crystal a clear.
After around 2 hours I finished the 200 pages’ book and took the second book to read. this one was full of paintings, a novel in a manga way. When I was finished, it was already morning and I couldn’t help but to read the 3rd book. This was like the first book, though it has no pictures the story was so romantic and beautiful...fuck I had to sleep.

The next day I woke up in the evening and went to kitchen
_young master, did u sleep well?
Seohyun asked, technically she raised me, and truthfully I loved her more than my mom even.
I nodded and sat at the table after a minute my food was ready
_I came to wake u up for breakfast but u were asleep like a dead man...
+yeah I was reading stuff all night...where is my dad?
_I think master is in his office
+and my mom?
_madam is out
+where is Ravi?
_oh...u never talking in the home…u know master and madam will be angry
+I don't care
_can u talk to him tomorrow in school?...I just don’t want to see u boys in troubles
+it's important
_so...he's in the back yard
I rose my back to leave the kitchen but her concerning voice made me stay
_young master, plz be careful…Mr. Kim punishes him every time he saw u boys together…
I got upset to hear that. “Why he didn’t tell me about it” I thought to myself and went out.
Luckily his dad was in the main garden so I went to Ravi and told him everything but all the time I was speaking he was quite.
+did u hear me?...
×....
+hey I’m talking to u…
×I can hear u cuz I’m not deaf...which I wish I was...
+so...What U're thinking?...
×about what?...
+honestly…I think I have some feelings for u
I blushed and downed my head
×ure over thinking things...it's not right…okay?!...It's impossible…
+but why?...
×because we're both men and guess what?!...such a thing can't happen between the same genders…
×but...
That moment his dad shouted his name and asked him for helping
×are u finished?...I have to go…
+I mean my friend’s cousin…
His dad shouted his name again and he turned back to go, I jumped and got his wrist to make him stop
+think about it…
×never talk to me in home again…I don't want any trouble young master…
He bowed and left me standing there with a smoky heart so I decided to continue the conversation the next day at school.