Cheez-Its & Totino's Pizza Rolls | Andrew Siwicki & Garrett Watts One-Shots

3 ~ Coming out is always hard.

[So I posted this a few days ago and realized just now it wasn't even the full thing. Idk what happened so I took it down and re-uploaded it. Hope it works now! Also it's like, almost 3000 words and I'm too lazy to fix it again so sorry if there's any mistakes!!]

Deep down andrew always knew he was different. He knew he didn't fit into what some would call 'the norm'. He could never figure out where he fit in until recently when he finally found his answer. His title. What he would proudly identify as for the rest of his life. And it was finally time to tell someone. That someone was his best friend, the beautiful garrett watts who would understand more then anybody.
[Andrews Pov]

Today was the day. The day I expose my true self to the world.

The world meaning Garrett Watts.

That man was my world.

My everything.

The day I can finally be me.

You see, growing up in a small town of Illinois everyone knew everybody. Nobody could keep secrets long. Because of that, I had to hide in the shadows. Or, how people now phrase it, the closet. I was lost in a deep, dark closet full of confusing thoughts and depression.

You may be wondering what in the hell I'm talking about, so let's clear it up. I like girls, I like guys. I'll date a gay person, a straight person, a bi person. I'll date an asexual person and be fine with what they do and don't want to do. I'll date a Trans person and be proud, not ashamed. I'll treat them like the man or woman they are. I'll date anyone who has a great personality and loves me for me. Sexuality and gender never crosses my mind when im attracted to someone. This didn't have a title back in the 80s and 90s, at least not that I knew off.

I never really fit with certain groups. At first I thought I was gay. Then I thought no, that can't be right. You still like girls andrew. So then I thought okay, I'm bisexual. That's fine. So I stuck with that for a year, completely keeping it to myself. But being in such a small town meant I couldn't experiment how I wanted to. So whenever I would go on family trips is when I would do that. That's when I realized I wasn't bi either. Being bisexual meant you dated either guys or girls, that's it. But that wasn't me. It still didn't feel right. It still felt...wrong.

The confusion really hit strong in high school. Nothing made scene, no titles worked well with me. Because of that I fell into a pretty deep depression. I didn't know what I was. As far as I knew, I was nothing. Just a blob of yuck. It was a pretty dark time.

When I moved to LA i was able to explore more, test more waters. That's when I stumbled upon a term I've never heard before.

Pansexuality.

Being Pansexual, or pan for short, doesn't mean I'm sexuality attracted to frying pans. It means I'll date anyone no matter their gender or sexuality. I'll love people for who they are. I fall in love with personality, not gender or sexuality. That's what summed me up. That's how I was. It all finally clicked.

When I fell hard for Josh Beckham in grade 10 it was because of how funny he was. He cracked jokes all the time. I didn't care he was gay. When I started to feel something towards Samantha Johnson in grade 12 it was for her passion for music and photography. I didn't care she was in the middle of transitioning from male to female. I didn't even know until she told me. I loved her for the person she was, not what she identified as. So when I finally found that term, I knew it was right. It was me.