No Lie

Bring Your Kid to Work Day 2.0

Hey! So I thought it would be cute to rewrite the first chapter, but do it when Peter's 5 or so. I hope you enjoy it!

Five-year-old Peter clearly didn't understand that his Iron Man pyjamas were not an acceptable work outfit. Tony had been trying to explain this to his son for nearly ten minutes and by now, they were running late. Pepper had told him to just go with it and that it would be easier than arguing with the boy for all of eternity. However, Tony was not having it. His son would dress in an adorable little suit for his first day at Stark Industries if Tony had to sit on him. Of course, when he realised that's what it would come down to—him sitting on his very small son—he decided he'd rather not kill him just so he'd wear a suit.

"Fine!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in surrender while Peter grinned victoriously. "You win! But no banana bread for a month!"

"I don't even like banana bread so ha!" Peter replied, hands on his hips.

Tony frowned, recognising a blatant lie when he heard it, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, he got up from where he'd been kneeling on the floor and picked Peter up.

"Now we're late," he told his son. Peter wrapped his arms around Tony's neck happily while Tony grumbled, "I hope we have to sit in boring meetings all day just so you hate today."

"No you don't," Peter replied snarkily. Tony looked at him as they stepped into the lift. "Then you'll be bored and Mommy won't like it if you made me bored."

"You know what? Maybe I'll just leave you here," Tony said.

Peter kissed his nose quickly, grinning widely when Tony narrowed his eyes at him.

"Don't be cute," Tony said, "It's annoying."

Peter's grin just grew and pretty soon, Tony was smiling as well and blowing raspberries in Peter's neck while the five-year-old squealed in delight.

* * * * *

Peter absolutely loved the labs. Even though he'd seen his dad's lab and Tony tried telling him these labs were supposed to be less fun, Peter didn't seem to get the hint. It didn't help that he offered to help everyone with everything, making the staff love him. In fact, Peter had so much fun in the lab, Tony didn't mind leaving him there while he left for a meeting before lunch. By the time Tony returned, Peter was happily giggling with one of the interns without any fear of them.

"Peter, you ready for lunch, kiddo?" Tony asked, walking into the lab.

Leaving the intern, Peter raced across the floor and jumped into Tony's arms. With a grin, Tony threw him over his head then caught him as Peter shrieked happily.

"Yeah!" Peter exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Tony's neck. "Emmy said there's a coffee-tarium downstairs with yummy food. Can we go there?"

"Sure," Tony agreed, "We can go to the cafeteria."

He waved goodbye to his staff and carried Peter into the lift. As they arrived at the floor, Peter squirmed out of Tony's arms and held his hand as they walked through the cafeteria in search of lunch. After making a decision, they made their way to a back table where Tony felt they wouldn't get too many stares.

"And then—and then we made this—this thing that's supposed to, to make JARVIS happy," Peter told Tony, waving his arms excitedly.

Tony nodded and smiled, although confused as to what Peter was talking about.

"Mr. Jimmy is gonna keep it safe though until it's time to go home then we can give it to him."

"Oh, so it was a craft?" Tony asked in surprise.

Peter nodded, his legs swinging under the table as he bit into his burrito. Tony was about to ask Peter to tell him about his craft again, but one of the board members approached them.

"Tony," the man said, smiling at him then turning to Peter. "Who's this?"

Focused on picking out all the onions from his burrito, Peter didn't look up.

"What are you doing here, Oliver?" Tony asked, rewrapping Peter's burrito for him. "I thought your flight left twenty minutes ago."

"Yes, well, it was delayed," Oliver replied smoothly. Tony frowned. "You can do that when you have a private jet."

"I know," Tony said, "I have seven."

Oliver pursed his lips as if just remembering he wasn't the only person with a private jet.

"I thought you hated New York," Tony said, "What are you still doing here?"

"Oh I do," Oliver said. He put his hand on Peter's small shoulder and Tony tensed visibly. "I heard from the grapevine that you had a mini-Stark around here and I had to see for myself. Is he really yours?"

"Piss off," Tony snapped, standing up and walking around the table to step between Peter and Oliver. Even if the man was a member of his board of directors, he didn't trust him.

"He must be," Oliver deduced, looking down at Peter who turned around to look at the strange man talking to his dad. "I never thought I'd see a Stark care for his son." Turning to the man beside him, he asked, "Must be an act, huh?"

"Get out of my building," Tony said quietly, glancing away from Oliver in an attempt not to get mad.

Oliver didn't seem to care and looked down at Peter.

"Does Daddy hurt you?" he asked sweetly. Peter cocked his head in confusion, scrunching his eyebrows together. "He's rude to you in private, isn't he?"

"No!" Peter said loudly, standing on his chair.

Tony gently pushed him back into his seat, but he climbed on top of the table and frowned as scarily as he could at Oliver.

"Oh?" Oliver asked, raising an eyebrow at Tony as if to mockingly.

"My Daddy is the nicest person in the whole world!" Peter yelled, drawing the attention of some staff nearby. "He lets me play with Dum-E, U, and Bubber-fingers. He plays hide and seek with me and he makes me cookies when Mommy says no!"

"Okay, okay," Oliver said, trying to get Peter to stop yelling.

Across the cafeteria, multiple people were now staring at him. Behind Peter, Tony just stood in silence, watching his son destroy his board member.

"You're a big meanie that tries to take my Daddy's things," Peter screamed, pointing at Oliver.

Tony gently put his hand down but didn't bother telling him to be quiet.

"You smell like poo-poo and JARVIS doesn't like you!"

Peter took a deep breath and Tony plugged his ears seconds before Peter screamed at Oliver. When he finally stopped shrieking and breathed, the cafeteria was dead silent and Oliver looked truly embarrassed.

"Alright, Peter," Tony said calmly, turning slightly so Peter could jump off the counter and into his arms. "I think it's time we go and get JARVIS's present, yeah?"

Peter nodded once, glaring at Oliver from his dad's arms. Tony then turned to Oliver and his face hardened.

"Get out of my building or I'll sick my wife on you."

"Of course," Oliver mumbled, rushing out of the Tower while Peter and Tony headed to the private lift.

"Is Mommy gonna be mad I yelled?" Peter asked quietly, wrapping his arms around Tony's neck.

"No," Tony replied, kissing Peter's cheek quickly. "In fact, I think she'll even make you cookies."

"Good," Peter said happily, "He was a big asshole."

Tony choked on his breath and Peter looked at him innocently.

"I agree," Tony said, his voice a little higher than normal. "However, you probably shouldn't say that word in front of Mommy or she'll never let you have cookies for the rest of your life."