crosswalks and crossed hearts [ h.s. + l.p. ]

Chapter 2

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The fact that Liam hadn't seen much of Harry since his first meeting with Niall had put him off for a bit. Not a bit actually, just a day or two. Or more. Depending on how many times he asked Niall for something and got "I'm busy with Harry right now !" in return. 

He wasn't all too happy with the idea, if he was honest. Which he always was. But he just really didn't like how two of his friends -- if he was even really considered Harry's friend in the first place -- become friends with out him. 

But of course he shrugged it off enough times to end up with Zayn painting, or drawing or sitting in a coffee shop while he talks about his art or ideas or writing. And so what if he's jealous of Zayn, anyone would be. He knows how to use words, quite well enough to be a writer and he can also use his hands quite well enough to be an artist. (And if his looks were in the same category, then well you might as well envy him because he may as well be a model, too.)

Other than the occasional chill with Harry, which he would more times than not ask to use the phone, he liked his company. He was a good listener when Liam wanted to rant about his job and how they chose the wrong position for him, or his breakup with Louis, or how his friends are sometimes too busy for him (and well, didn't that one just blow up in his face). But Harry always seemed to listen, and sometimes he would add small things about his life, or his sister, or his old job. And it made Liam feel not so alone, because Harry was like him more than he thought.

Or maybe he wasn't and Liam just really liked him.

Either way, it's a Friday night and he hasn't heard back from Niall or Zayn, which he assumes Niall is with Harry probably and Zayn is just busy painting or writing or modeling. Or they just all forgot about him. Which wouldn't be the first time, since Zayn had actually met Harry they apparently became quite close, too. But Liam wouldn't know, because he wasn't there when they met, he doesn't know what they talked about, and he doens't know how alike they are, he doesn't know how they click. He doesn't even want to think of it.

He decides to put it in the back of his mind with things that don't matter (but kind of, really do). He's laying on the sofa staring at the blank television screen with his phone on his chest, waiting for it to go off or vibrate or just for a god damn message from one of his mates. Anything, really, he just really hates being alone with his thoughts and it's also a fucking Friday night. He's about to give up and just go to sleep but there's hard knocking on his door and he's up answering it before he's even thinking of it.

"Payno!" Niall screams in his face and tackles him backwards, enough to let Zayn and Harry in behind them. 

"Hi." He replies sheepishly while wrapping his arms around him. "I tried calling. Thought you forgot about me." And his cheeks are warming up because Zayn laughs and Niall is making this judging face like he doens't believe him, and Liam wishes he could have shut his mouth faster.

"It's your birthday, Payno!" And then he's tackling him again until they fall on the couch together and Niall is laughing in his neck.

Then he hears Zayn and feels his hand in his hair, "Wanted it to be a surprise." 

And then he thinks he really loves his friends, whether they're around or not, they tend to keep him sane. He'll never tell them but he means it. He's not sure what he would do without Niall's distracting ways or Zayn's comfort but he's glad he has it either way.

Niall is laying across him like dead weight and doesn't even try getting up. He wonders where Harry went or what he's doing, but then he sees him sitting on the love seat looking like he doesn't fit in. Or like he's not sure what's he's suppose to be doing right now. Or like he doesn't even know why he's here, because he's only ever talked to Liam a few times and most was to use the god damn phone and that's probably why he looks so uncomfortable sitting in Liam's apartment with their shared fucking friends.

And somehow he feels anger towards Harry. And where did that even come from? Because a few hours ago he was angry that his friends had befriended him without Liam's consent. (Which they don't need because it's not like Harry is strictly Liam's friend, they're not even friends apparently.)

It's not like they're fucking kids who just can't share friends, but Liam is just upset because this guy he barely even knows is sitting in his apartment, stealing his friends, and it's his birthday. It's his fucking birthday, which he forgot, and he's angry about this guy who is stealing his friends and he just wants to get drunk. He doesn't even care, and he doesn't need a reason to because it's his birthday.

And before he even suggests it, he feels Zayn pulling him up form under Niall and whispering in his ear, "We're getting trashed tonight." And then he's giving him this look that Liam thinks he should know what it means, but he doesn't. Or maybe he thinks Zayn just knows him well enough to know what he's thinking. 

So he nods. And they go. All of them.

 +

Zayn is passing Liam another shot, and whispering in his ear the whole time and Liam can't stop laughing because everything is just so funny and he can feel Zayn giggling in his neck and it's just normal. It's all so natural. They've all gone out before, excluding Harry, but they just know how they act and it's how they work whether they're drunk or not, and it's comfortable and comforting and Liam just keeps laughing and making stupid jokes.

He doesn't bother looking at Harry when he feels his gaze on him. He doesn't even think about anything, he doens't want to, and he's not even in the state of thinking. He's just doing. Taking the shot Zayn handed him, trying to push Niall back in his seat because he's trying to climb over the table to steal it, and he's just so aware of his friends because they've done this all before, and it's finally a feeling he recognizes. He missed his friends so much, and he didn't realize the last time they went out together was in April some time after Zayn got his Professional Writers degree or something like that. He can't think.

He thinks he can't think.

But he's crying now, which is impossible because he's still laughing and then he's wrapping his arms tightly around Zayn and Zayn just keeps giggling because it's routine, he knows Liam can be an emotional drunk when something is truly bothering him, but when he's drunk, he's happy. He thinks he's happy.

Niall is wiping away Liam's tears from behind Zayn and Liam just wraps his arms around him too and soon they're a big mess laying on the floor laughing, in a tangle of legs and limbs. 

"I love you, guys! I love you so much! You are the bestest of best friends ever in the world or like - Yeah! You are the best friends in the world! Like, I mean it, guys." Liam slurs slightly too loud and it just makes Niall erupt in laughter again and Zayn is sitting up shaking his head in fondness while brushing off his jeans.

"Hey, Niall - Niall, I have to tell you a secret. It's a big secret, okay?" And Niall perks up and is nodding, playing along and they look like absolute idiots and they don't even realize that Zayn is back in the booth and they're still sitting on the floor.

"What is it? Is it super secret? Do I already know?"

"I'm meant to tell you something, I'm suppose to tell you something." And then Niall's ear is in front of his face and Niall shrugs away giggling when he feels Liam's lips kiss his ear sloppily.

"Li! 'm gonna go deaf because of you." Niall helps Liam up and pushes him back in the booth next to Zayn.

He forgot Harry was even with them until he sees him making conversation with Zayn and Liam's head is too heavy for his neck and he's resting his head on Zayn's shoulder. He's slumped over him and his eyes are heavy, and soon he has his arms wrapped around Zayn's waist and he feels Zayn's arm around his shoulder and he can't get more comfortable, he thinks.

"We need to get you home, mate."

"Zayn, I'm meant to tell you something."

Zayn laughs but plays it along like Niall did, "What is it?"

"I love you. You're my best friend. But don't tell Niall, okay?" He kisses Zayn's cheek and Zayn doesn't even flinch because Liam just gets affectionate when he's drunk. 

"I won't tell Niall." He's rubbing Liam's back and Liam has his eyes closed, almost asleep. "Happy Birthday, Li." He feels a kiss on his forehead and then he's out.

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