Though poetry is often best left without explanation, my poem individual interpretation will vary once learning my past experiences....
My story:
A big part of my background that I burdened around for so many years, is that I come from an abusive household concerning my father. Mostly mental and verbal abuse were the biggest weight and it directly inspired the writing of this poem. Although it is easy to get this confused, I am writing from the perspective of my mother, and not from my own personal reflection. I saw my mom struggle to give him everything and sacrificing a great deal of herself in the process. My mother and I have always been very close. When my father abandoned my mother, my sister, and I, it strengthened our bond as the three of us. A new normal. My mom used to call us "Charlie's Angels." At all of our lowest, we united to be stronger. We began being very honest with one another, and stopped concealing and feelings we had from the aftermath from the abuse we underwent. We originally hid a lot from each other and had a lot of secrets. The ending of the poem shows the place in her life my mother is in now. A beautiful and unpredictable journey of strength and self-discovery.
The hammer metaphor is her love and my constant cycle of sacrificing all of herself for him always. My parents were high school sweethearts. From the young age of 16, she has been giving him her everything. She gave him all of this love, just like the hammer, which he decided to break down for selfish reasons.
"Beating himself in the head," is probably the most important line within this poem. Hitting himself with this object, that symbolizes loyalty and genuine love, is a true reflection of him. Narcissism coupled with neglect for her sacrifices. He was unable to use this for healing because of his need for attention and manipulation.
I decided to foil my father's cheating with the 7 deadly sins. While committing the act of sin he is confronted with the literal sin in the simplest form.
The color, object association, and punishment in hell I used connected to each sin:
Pride - violet, horses, broken on the wheel
Greed - yellow, sponge, boiled alive in oil
Lust - blue, lace , smothered in fire and brimstone
Past all the imagery & symbolism, is the raw and honest highlight of my trauma. Writing this has served to be both therapeutic, as well as life changing. I thank you for allowing me to open up like this... Enjoy
YOU ARE READING
Calloused Care
PoesíaA poem drenched in metaphors & creative imagery, while displaying the trauma of abuse and finding one's strength
