It Started With Mum

How it began

Chapter 1

Your probably wondering:

What the fuck is this?

I'm so confused?

How did it start?

Get to the fucking point.

I'm the KFC lady.

Well it all started with Mum. That's right a flax bush (if you don't know what it is use fucking google).

I don't exactly want to start from the very beginning let's just say Dan and Mum were very much and loved and when you love someone very much....yeah we are not going to go there (even thought they went there woops).

So Mum (she is just called mum, nothing else) gave birth to two beautiful human daughters who had flax bush hearts.

So they are a bit weird to regular humans but sometimes their heart just clicks with people and for Sophie and Katie those people were Cameron and Harry.

But this was when they were 19, before that they were raised by a Chicken called Paddy.

Paddy was lovely and found two babies in the middle of a field and took them home to feed them KFC.

Dan found Paddy and his daughters and would visit every weekend while Paddy looked after the kids full time and brought them up into the KFC life.

***

Katie's Pov

"CAMERON! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" I scream as I look down on what looks like a deformed featherless chicken squirming on the floor.

"What is it?" Cameron says standing next to me rubbing her eyes out of pure tiredness but they suddenly widen when he sees the sight.

"Oh that's Miley." He says blankly.

"Who?"

"Miley."

"What is she doing?"

"Simply twerking honey." he says kissing my cheek before leaving the room.

"Oh. Okay!" I yell out.

I stand there looking at this...Miley twerk on the floor in front of me.

Ah, whatever. "Welcome Miley! what can I get ya?"

"You got any KFC?"

"Not at the moment no sorry."

"Well that's fine." she says getting up and walking out the door.

I shrug and walk into the kitchen.

I walk to my trusty fridge and open it and out rolls watermelon.

"Hey Katie did you know that Miley Cyrus is here?"

"Just met her yeah..."

"And what do you think?"

"Honestly, that gurl got no booty."

"I know I know that's why I got her a squat schedule."

"Oh nice!"

"Yea-" she says but I interrupt her by slapping her and throwing her back in the fridge.

•

After about an hour of sitting on the toilet singing the whole Pope album that I bought in Rome.

I get a phone call.

*RING RING DURK DURK FUCK SHIT HOE SLUTTY ASS HOLE*

"HALLO?" I scream over the loud noise of my own shit dumping to the ground.

"HEY ITS HARRY IS HARRIET THERE?" Harry screams into the phone. "MRS DALLAS.... ARE YOU TAKING A SHIT?"

"WHAT?! YES!"

Unfortunately the shitting ends and I can hear Harry talk.

"No sorry Harry, Harriet is out with Matthew."

"Oh damn flabby. Do you know where they will be?"

"No Harry, your not going to ruin their date."

"Why not? Harriet is suppose to be with me."

"OH SHUT THE FUCK UP HARRY YOU DONT KNOW SHIT!" I say hanging up.

I get off the toilet and decide to go for a grocery shop.

As I walk outside I hear a squeaking on my roof.

I turn around and see Miley.

On the roof.

Doing squats.

I watch her werk so hard until POP BANG.

Did that actually just happen. Did she actually just squat so much that she shat herself and is now flying across town?

Damn werk it girl!

I jump into my car and drive.

I drive to KFC and then to got the grocery store.

***

YAYA THAT WAS THE FIRST CHAPTER.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO KATIE GROCERY STORE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER COMING SOON.

LOVE YA.

C

XOXOX