Irish Mythology and Folklore

The Rule of Bres the Beautiful, and the Second Battle of Moy Tura (~1887 BC)

The Tuatha Dé Danann left the battlefield, their spirits high, for they had conquered the land on which they stood. But it was at a great cost. During the battle, their King, Nuada, had lost his arm. And it was the law of their people that no man who was mutilated or disfigured in war could be King. And so it was, that the people of the tribe gathered around, and discussed who would be their new King.

It was settled, in the end, that Bres the Beautiful would be King. He was a tall, handsome young man, with piercing grey eyes and long blonde hair. Bres was the son of a Fomorian King Elatha, and a woman of the Tuatha Dé Danann Ériu. He was as beautiful and skilled as his mothers people, and wicked and conniving as his fathers. But so it was, that Bres was elected High King of Ireland, so that his rule could bring peace between the two races.

It did not take long, for Bres to show his true colours. Soon, he allowed the Fomorians to seize the land for themselves. The Tuatha were forced to live as little more then mere slaves, using their godlike powers for menial labour, and paying unrestrained taxes to their Fomorian overlords. And throughout all this time, Bres's wealth grew exponentially, and he became the richest man in the known world.

It was one day, whilst Bres sat upon his throne, that a travelling bard appeared to him. The bard expected a warm welcome, and hospitality from his host, as was expected in those days, when a traveller arrived on your doorstep. He expected everything he would ask for, for he did not ask for much. A fire upon which to warm himself, a roof over his head, a comfortable bed on which to sleep, and a meal enough to satisfy him. It came as a most insulting shock to the bard when, despite the customs of the time, Bres threw him a cold, dark stone room, without so much of the embers of a fire, and left him there for the night with a crust of stale bread.

The bard was so appalled by the Kings despicableness, that he spent the night not sleeping, but writing, and playing, and he composed the first satire in Ireland, mocking the King for his ways. And when the bard was released the next day, he went out into the world, and played his satire, and it rallied the spirits of the Tuatha Dé Danann. They broke free from their chains, and banded together.

Bres's first action, was to run to his fathers people, the Fomorians, for aid. And aid they gave him. The Fomorians put forth their armies, and their great warrior Balor of the Evil Eye. Balor was a giant, standing over three times the height of a regular man. In the centre of his forehead, it was said that he had a third eye, and when he opened it, everything in its line of sight would wither, and die. But Balor was very old, when Bres readied him for battle once again. He was so old, and his third eyelid so heavy, that men had to stand behind him with ropes and hooks to pull open his eye, and lay destruction upon the land. It was at this time, when the bards song was circulating the land, that the songs and tales of Bres, and the gathering army, reached a young man, living as a smith high in the mountains. This man's name, was Lugh (L-ew-ah).

Many years ago, before the Tuatha Dé Danann had even set sale for Ireland, Balors daughter Eithlinn (Ee-th-lin), and a Tuatha named Cian (See-an) met, and together, had a child. Balor learned of this child, a half breed, and was told by a seer that his grandson would some day kill him. So, in an attempt to avert this prophecy, Balor cast the boy into the sea. It was not long, before a Druid woman of the mountain saved the infant, and returned it to its father. Cian named the child Lugh, and gave him away to a smith, with the instruction to teach the boy every skill a man could learn. And so, Lugh grew up learning every skill, and was proficient at all of them.

Lugh heard of the rallied Tuatha, who had built their battlements on Tara, the hill which housed the King Stone (a relic from the four cities of knowledge, which would roar like a splayed beast when the next true king rose to power). Lugh arrived at the gate, with the intention of helping the forces of his fathers people in any way he could. He knocked upon the gate.

The gatekeeper had, prior to Lughs arrival, been given direct instructions not to allow anyone inside the fortress, invasion they were a spy, sent by Bres and his forces. And so when Lugh arrived on his doorstep, he denied him entry.

"But I am a capable smith!" The young man protested.

"We already have a smith." The gatekeeper stated.

"I am also a magician!" Lugh added.

"We already have a magician too."

"And a cook!" Lugh continued. And on and on fought the two, going back and forth as Lugh listed odd his many, many skills. Eventually, aggravated, Lugh sighed. "Then go to your masters, and challenge them to find any one man who can do all of the things I have listed." The gatekeeper went inside, and returned a few minutes later. He opened the gate, and allowed Lugh to enter.

One of the mightiest Tuatha warriors was sent forth to test Lugh. He bent down, and with his bare hands ripped a flagstone, as big as ten men, from the earth. He lifted the rock high above his head, and carried it across to the next hill over. Casually, without a word, Lugh walked over to the hill, picked up the rock, and threw it back. With an earth trembling crash, the rock landed exactly in the hole it had been pulled from. The people cheered and clapped, and after several more displays of skill, Lugh was elected the leader of their warriors and troops.

Lugh looked over the army, and set about learning the skills and proficiencies of each man, and categorising the army by talent. Then, when this task was done, he went off to the coast to speak with Mannanan Mac Lir, the Tuatha Dé Danann who ruled over the sea, to try and gain his favour for the upcoming war.

Whilst Lugh did this, Dagda Mór, set out into the wilderness to find one of the many members of the war goddess Morrigan, for if they were going into battle, it was vital they have her on their side. Morrigan saw Dagda coming, and she new of his incredible powers of persuasion over women. And so when they met, Morrigan stood with one leg on each side of a river, so that Dagda could not find a way to seduce her. Despite her efforts, he did, and whitest the two lay together in Morrigan's home, she agreed to help her people against the Fomorians.

Then, Dagda journeyed to speak with Bres and the Fomorians, in an attempt to parley. He explained, that even with the goddess of war on their side, they would rather not spill blood. The Fomorians mocked him, and, as a jest, dug a giant hole in the ground, filling it with porridge and mead. They told the Dagda that if he could eat everything in the hole, they would consider his terms. Not being a god to turn down a challenge, the Dagda took out a spoon, and ate every last drop from the hole. The Fomorians, in turn, spat in his face, and turned away. The Dagda was so disgusted, and bloated from the challenge, that he threw up the entire meal on his way back to the camp.

By the next day, everyone in the army of the Tuatha had done their part so well, that they were ready for battle. Morrigan circled the skies as a raven, the seas swelled with the power of Mannanan Mac Lir, and the army of gods faced the army of monsters once more on the plains of Moy Tura, the Plain of Pillars. Balor of the Evil Eye lead the Formorians charge, and, as the armies interlocked, he ordered his men to pull open his eye.

But as Balors eyelid was dragged open, Lugh swung his sling, and sent a rock hurtling into his eye. Balor screamed as his eye lolled backwards into his skull, cutting through his brain, and turning the entire Fomorian army behind him to stone. And that is how the Tuatha Dé Danann won the second battle of Moy Tura.

But, as they regathered themselves from the battlefield, the gods were now forced to choose who amongst them would be the new King, now that Bres's evil reign had been put to an end. Many, obviously, pointed to Lugh, to rule them. Others pointed to the Dagda. And then, Dian Cecht (Die-an Sect), god of medicine and healer of the Tuatha Dé Danann, stepped forwards, with Nuada, the King who had lost his arm in the previous battle. The healer produced from his satchel an arm, made from pure silver, and with magic, attached it to Nuada's arm. The King was now whole, once again, and the stone upon the hill Tara roared triumphantly, so Nuada of the Silver arm was placed back in rule over Ireland...