Catastrophic (C.H)

One.

Congratulations, you've found my mess of a story. I'm sure that this isn't quite one for the history books of romance or adventure, so if that's what you are seeking in this story then I'm afraid that you've come to the wrong place.

Maybe this story does dabble in romance in some ways, but don't get your hopes up for any epic romance moments in here. I mean after all, this is the life of the one and only loser Beatrice Marie.

Enough about setting your expectations low though, I'm sure you want to hear every little detail about the catastrophe that was my life. Without further ado, let's begin where my story ended and it's story began.

It was August 27th, also known as the day that the last year of hell would begin. I remember that the weather was still relatively hot outside, which meant that my hopes for fall weather where I could wear a sweater and leggings everyday was crushed within moments of checking the weather. It took me a moment to stand there and debate the choices of suffering throughout an entire day of heat to wear the outfit that I had wanted, or I could suffer by wearing an outfit that fit the weather and kept my body temperature cool but ultimately made me hate the day even more than I already did.

A baggy tee shirt and some thin leggings it is, but I did drag my hoodie along in my bag just in case the anxiety of school became a little too much and I needed that comfort. I recall feeling a sense of calmness that morning, which should have screamed that something truly horrible was going to happen eventually.

The day flew by, which again should have been a warning sign but that version of me had no idea what her life would become. By the time I had gotten home, I felt drained of absolutely everything that I had left inside of me. Normally on the first day of school, this was often how I returned home after an exhausting day of avoiding everyone and anything that would draw attention to little ole me, so it seemed normal.

I laid down in the comforts of my own bed to take a short nap, that was all. I thought that my body was exhausted from being me, but when I awoke it was clear that something was far from being right. I sat straight up from my bed covered in sweat, but that was the least of my worries. I was struggling to catch my breath and it felt like I had ran from New York to Orlando, but all I had done was take a nap. My nose then began to bleed, so that added on the difficulty to breathe. All I could do was scream. I screamed so loud that my parents had rushed into my room within seconds and they both began panicking as much as I was, which ultimately made me begin to panic even more in the moment.

The ride to the hospital in the back of an ambulance with paramedics frantically trying to calm me was nothing short of terrifying. The only thought that stayed consistently in my mind was that I was dying and that this was the end of Beatrice, my ending was coming before I could even turn eighteen.

As soon as I arrived at the hospital, my parents rushed over and began to sob over my weak and panicked body as I laid there with wide eyes and glanced between each of the nurses and doctors that had rushed to meet me, each of them moving quicker than the other to begin conducting tests and checks. My mind was filled with questions and concerns but I couldn't manage to ask them through the oxygen mask that was placed over my face to ensure that I would get enough through my panicked state, so instead I laid there in a paralyzed state with time rushing by me without notice.

Within a few moments I had managed to catch my breath and I felt relief wash over my body as I tried to explain to the doctors that I was indeed fine, but that was not the case. Instead I sat up to tell them that I felt alright and instead I was met with the terrible news that I had been labeled with leukemia, which came as a shock to both me and my parents. They held onto each other as they continued to sob but I was left there with ringing in my ears and a blank expression on my face as I tried to process what seemed to be a death sentence.

How was I meant to battle cancer when I could hardly handle fighting to live a life that was somewhat decent? Life really set me up for failure and throwing a curve ball like this was end game for me, but I knew that it was up to me to pull up any fight left inside to get through this. I knew that this meant war and that my body was fighting off itself, so I knew that meant it I would be absolutely destroyed in the process.

Soon enough we were being talked to by specialists and doctors who had already gotten a treatment plan set up and ready in the hopes that they could get ahead of this disease that was spreading inside of me, but I was too stunned to even begin thinking into the future of my own life. My parents stepped out with the doctors to discuss our options once they noticed my state of shock, which I thank them for because anymore discussion about it would have sent me over my emotional ledge and that was a disaster that I avoid at all costs.

Eventually they admitted me for overnight observation and it's journey began there. That was all it had taken to have my life go from being controlled by me to being in the hands of something else. My life was no longer in my own hands and my life was suddenly headed off course with no breaks installed to stop myself from crashing and burning.

Author's Note :

This first chapter was only written to explain the start of her journey. Every chapter from this point on will be written from first person unless otherwise stated, which means it will be happening in present time and from her point of view and not a recap. Also, I am using research from online to try and make this story as accurate as possible but I know that I will not get this exactly right because this is something that I fortunately have not had to face. So please feel free to correct me at any point of the story and I will do my best to rewrite it so that it is correct. Also, I have insane respect for anyone battling any type of cancer and do not mean for this story in any way to make it seem "easy" or any other unreasonable adjective.

With that all being said, please enjoy the rest of Bea's story.