my mind betrayed me and left me with thimble sized sanity.
with its poverty stricken mindset, it called me an ingrate and told me to "manage".
it assured me that along side sanity, it left me with self doubt, anxiety and constant psychologically induced stomach aches.
my mind told me to prepare a home for my "own" for they are all my family now, and when the big man up there grants us rest, we will all go together.
then i watched the back of my mind as it egotistically abandoned me.
i still constantly hear the quavery scream i let out when i acknowledged the welcome party my new family threw for me.
hand in hand they engulfed me and promised to never leave me.
i was more inquisitive, and to the common man it was commendable, but unknown to them and unknown to you self doubt met with anxiety and birthed this new validation seeking nature.
the last time i was crouched down in pain from another unexplainable cramp, i was also struggling to control the self induced opening that allowed me see what really runs in my veins.
it was the last time because i let out everything in me and even too much. the big man said it was our time.
but not only did my mind betray me, it also lied to me because as my spirit ascended and my body died, so did my new family.
