Lesbian isn't a dirty word

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by Littlanonymous

by Littlanonymous

Lesbian isn't a dirty word
But my throat closes up
Each time I almost say it
My face goes red
Each time I remember
I am
That

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I've accepted it
I wear it like a coat of lipgloss
Smile at others who wear the same shade
I am confident wearing it
But wipe it off when I'm unsure of how they feel
Horror stories from the past
And the way all gay girls die on TV
Keep me from being me

It's a fact
It's my coat of lip gloss
That I wipe off when I don't know
How they feel about us
Horror stories from those before me
And the way all gay girls die on TV
Keep me from being who I'm supposed to be

Mom preaches that God Loves me
But why am I so scared to walk into a church
"The Bible says"
"Turning your back on god"
"It's a sin"
I'm a sin

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I'm gay
I'm gay
I'm gay
I repeat it all day
no one can deny it
It's obvious
But
Why don't I believe myself
Why don't I think it's okay
To like her smile
Or the way she talks
I shouldn't be attracted to her
It's gross

I'm obviously faking it
I don't want her
I want to be her
I don't want to be him
I want his arms wrapped around me
I don't want her laughing at my jokes
I want him to take me out
I don't want to hold her hand and buy her gifts
I want him to break up with her because
I want him obviously
Obviously

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A/N Lmao after finally figuring out what I am,
I'm suddenly disgusted by myself