Angela Belladonna at Hogwarts

Her description surprisingly takes only half of the chapter

Hi, my name's Angela Ori Gami Fuku Jima Mitsu Bishi Ja Pan Dae Woo Belladonna. I am the last member of Belladonna family, because my parents were killed when I was two years old. That means I am an orphan, which is very sad and everyone who meets me says how tough must my life have been. But I'm not complaining, someone has to be one or no one would be grateful for how lucky he is. Everyone here in the Supercute Pink Mary Sue Orphanage says I have my father's brain and his good heart, because I am friends with everyone here and I am very smart. I don't exactly know how they mean it because if my dad died he couldn't have time to give me his brain but they wouldn't lie to me, right? Right. Yeah, and they say I look like my mother, and I have to tell you exactly how I look because I love to talk about it.

I have a very beautiful face, which would make any boy fall in love with me but so far, I have been living only with other girls and the staff of the orphanage. They are kind to me but they are not parents. But that's okay, I don't complain, that's just my life. I have beautiful pink eyes and all the girls are jealous of them, because they all have normal color of eyes like violet, limpid tear blue or stracciatella. I have beautiful pink hair which always flows as if there was a wind. I have high cheekbones, pink cheeks, lovely chin and fantastic pink eyes which often twinkle but when I am enraged they're very frightening. (I love my eyes.) I wear a nice girly pink dress all the time, it's my favourite, I have it since my sixth birthday. Now it starts being a little tight, but it doesn't matter because it shows my amazing beauty. I am eleven, but everyone says I look younger, ten years and eleven months at most.

Even when I was very little, there was always magic around me. My "aunts" at the orphanage did not pay attention as they should, because every time I showed my amazing abilities they had to persuade some daughter of Poseidon to stop surfing while showering or some warrior princess of elves to stop playing with her little bow. But on the other hand I always impressed them with my ability to speak Italian and Japanese (my father was Italian and my mother Japanese, you see). I know that now that you know all about me, you probably love me, and I'm sorry but there's no way to undo it, that's just me. But you could've also fall for someone who doesn't deserve it, you know. Like I mean, it could've been someone with both parents who is just so ungrateful for his great luck but that's okay, I definitely don't mean to complain, someone has to live a miserable life as well.

Currently, I'm still cheerfully living my miserable and depressing life with my friends here at orphanage, but I know it won't last. Every now and then arrives something like an owl, raven, satyr, vampire or Legolas to tell one girl about her respective world and to bring her there to shine. I hope it happens soon, because it's horrible here without my parents. Not that I would complain, of course. They would like to hear it and pity me, but I hate pity so I don't mention it if I don't have to.

Right now, my best friend Harriet Fredda Joanna Pursey Edwys Taubie Peta Delaboneux enters the room. She is a year younger and she thinks I'm her hero because I have those amazing magic powers and those pink eyes. She's like the incorruptible pure pureness. I like her, but yeah, everyone is my friend here because I am so unbelievably friendly.

"OH MY GOD IT'S YOU ANGELA ORI GAMI FUKU JIMA MITSU BISHI JA PAN DAE WOO BELLADONNA WHAT ARE YOU DOING CAN I SAY SOMETHING TO YOU?" she whispered excitedly.
"Yeah, hello, Harriet Fredda Joanna Pursey Edwys Taubie Peta Delaboneux, I'm just here thinking about the sad thing that I don't have parents. I don't complain, of course, especially to you who do not have parents as well, not like those idiots who have and who are not grateful, but yeah, you can say something." I respond frowning.
"Oh, Angela Ori Gami Fuku Jima Mitsu Bishi Ja Pan Dae Woo Belladonna, what I wanted to say is, how are you?" she asks shyly.

I wanna answer that I'm fine but I don't get to it (like all the time, everything is against me!) because there's a giant eagle owl that arrives here. WITH A LETTER FOR ME! OH MY GOD THAT'S SO COOL!
I open it with my perfect trembling fingers and it says:

"HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Ms. Belladonna,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You are so powerful that if you wish, you can enroll as a teacher. Or a unicorn. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Though I doubt you would need any of it because you are so great and powerful, but those are rules.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July. Or you can show yourself unannounced in the middle of Sorting like most Mary Sues do.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall, your biggest fan

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress."

I close the acceptance letter and for the first time in my life, my sad pink eyes which knew only tears twinkle. I am finally going to Hogwarts, to my home. It's time to shine and show the world how powerful I am.