i'm only given clues

Chapter 13

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For a minute, she thinks she's dreamed it. She can barely tell when she's asleep and when she's awake anymore so, when a cool hand presses softly to her cheek, her heart sinks, sure that it was all a dream. She's sure that it's nothing but a cruel yet wonderful trick of her imagination, her subconscious reminding her of what she so desperately wants to hear.

She shies away from the hand, nuzzling her cheek further into the pillow, mad at it for taking the dream away. Her nose squishes against the fabric and she breathes out unhappily, almost childishly, until she hears a gentle laugh from above her, new and yet still familiar. A click of a tongue whispers into her ear and she feels her resolve loosening already from the way the hand instantly reaches back to run a thumb over the curve of her cheek.

"Time to wake up, sweetheart," Libby whispers softly. Normani sighs, refusing to do as she's told. She doesn't want to wake up. She doesn't. She just wants to sleep a little more and hope the dream comes back. She's glad that Libby's actions don't match her words because she pulls the covers up around her tighter, until they're snuggled under her chin. "You've got to stop sleeping on couches," she comments. "My word, is that not going to help your back..."

Normani pauses at that. Processes.

Wait.

Couches?

Wasn't she dozing on her bed before the dream started?

Her eyes flutter open and, sure enough, she's on the couch, in the upstairs living room and sat beside Libby on the coffee table is her computer, discarded to the side, forgotten. Her heart instantly yearns for it to be closer, knowing that she'll feel closer to Dinah if it is.

It wasn't a dream.

Her mouth is opening and she's asking, "Can you pass me my computer?" before she can even realize.

Libby just smiles and reaches to pick it up, handing it to her quietly and watching curiously as Normani opens it, just to check. Dinah's face is still on the screen, paused and gentle, and the urge to watch it again is almost too much. She knows that she would be if Libby wasn't sat there, looking at her like that, like she doesn't recognize her again.

"Things are a lot different since my day," she comments idly. Normani looks at her confused. She gestures to the computer carefully. "In my day, if you wanted to profess your love and apologies to someone you had to go to em," she says. "There was no computers."

For some reason, she feels her cheeks go warm. She feels nervous and shy and her throat turns dry as she closes the computer back up. "You watched it?" she asks.

Libby gives her a warm smile. "It was hard not to," she explains with no discomfort or guilt. "It was playing on a loop as I came in and, well... it's very beautiful." Normani dips her head. Libby tilts her head to the side to try and see her face anyway. "That your girl?"

Normani feels the smile twitch at her mouth before she can stop it, feels the butterflies and the relief and the love she'd felt watching it. She feels the reminder that Dinah calls herself hers warming her and protecting her better than any blanket. And then, just as quickly, it all falls away when she realizes that she isn't here, it was just a video, and that she misses her more than ever.

She nods, softly. She feels like she's been caught doing something she shouldn't. Libby must notice because she giggles and reaches forward to pinch one of her cheeks. "Good God, you're pretty much the sweetest thing ever, aren't ya?"

She scoffs and cuddles the computer to her chest. Her cheeks flare with warmth as her stomach tries to negotiate the yearning, the confusion, the conflicted feelings in her chest that come with not knowing what the hell she's supposed to do.