Back Down Alpha

10: Like A Newspaper I'm Black And White

        When I had finally made it back home around noon the following day I felt like a wrecking ball had slammed into my body and dragged me through ten buildings. I had left Shane's street bike sitting in the middle of the driveway because I was just too tired to open the garage. My bed was a sight for sore eyes as I shoved open my bedroom door. To my surprise my phone hadn't died, but there were numerous text messages from Ruby and one from my mom. I clicked on the one from my mother first.

        Mom 9:23 PM

        I'll be home tomorrow. Are you closing up tomorrow?

        My fingers dashed across the screen and I confirmed that I was working again today. But what she didn't know was that I wasn't closing up the shop tonight, so I'll be able to surprise her while she's at home waiting for me. Smiling, I read her reply which only consisted of her saying that she'll be home before I get off.

        Due to my shift at the cafe starting at 1, I had little under an hour to kill before I had to go work. Grabbing my work outfit which consisted of just a white, long sleeve button down, and black slacks I made my way into the bathroom and took a shower.

        Once I was done I wrote a quick note to my mom saying that I'll explain why there's nice cars at our house after I got off of work.

        The front door creaked under my hand as I shut it smoothly behind me with my keys in my pocket. I found myself humming softly despite the uneasiness that had settled in the pit of my stomach.

        ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

        "Hello, how may I help you?" I chirped out. My voice was still hoarse and barely a whisper so I had to speak in tones. The fever was lightening up thanks to the two Advil I had taken previously of coming to work.

        "Hey," my head snapped up to meet familiar hazel eyes, "fancy seeing you here." He grinned at me and then ordered a hot chocolate.

        "Coming right up," I said while counting his change back to him. I felt his eyes watching me as I poured the warm milk into the Styrofoam cup and topped it off with whipped cream.

    Instead of leaving once I had given him his drink, he merely leaned against the counter nonchalantly. "I suppose it's a slow day for you guys," he said while laughing.

        "I don't know what was funny about that, but okay," I replied cautiously. This guy seemed really chill but nowadays you can never be sure.

        "Let's play a game. I say ten things and you give me your opinion on each one of them," his mischievous eyes met mine and I felt my head nodding in approval.

        I paused momentarily pursing my lips, "before we start, what's your name?"

        "Jaimie." He replied grinning at me. "Okay first subject. Soul mates."

        My elbows thudded softly against the tiled counter while I leaned against it, "soul mates are a little cliched for nowadays, don't you think?"

        "So you don't believe in them?"

        "No." I replied bluntly.

        "There's not a guy in your life that sends your heart into a frantic frenzy?" I shook my head no. "Think about it. Tell me what you think soul mates are and if they exist. A proper answer, if you would."

        While gathering my thoughts pertaining to the subject, I found myself staring out the window at the people that clutched umbrellas in the light rain shower. "When I think about soul mates the only thing that comes to mind is a newspaper. Everyday a newspaper comes out with something new that nobody, or few have heard about. It can range from everything such as obituaries, scholarships, festivals and so on, but when someone opens a newspaper to read the only thing they see is black and white. Once they begin reading they slowly begin to see the color of everything and soon the black and white has a story and meaning to it. A life is created. Soul mates are like the black and white on the paper. They're destined for each other and sometimes they can't tell until they began to read the paper. But then as they slowly begin to dig deeper and deeper into each other's being they realize that there's more to it than the black and white on the surface. Just like a newspaper, a life is created."

        Jaimie stared at me momentarily before nodding briefly, "that was pretty deep. I didn't expect you to give me a speech."

        "Oh shut up," I mumbled rolling my eyes, "next one?"

        "Shane." He replied calmly with his eyes on my face. I felt my heart drop at his name and immediately his face came into my mind.

        "Pass."

        "There's no passing in this game, Terra."

        "Surprise!" I threw my hands up in mock surprise before biting my lip. "I don't know how I feel about him. I mean sure there's a connection, but when someone keeps saying that they'll tell me what's going on eventually, it gets tiring. I'm not going to keep waiting on something that's never going to happen."

        "He just needs time." Jaimie replied bitterly. My eyebrows rose in surprise and I glanced over to see him glaring at me.

        "What?" I put my hands up in surrender. "Is he your lover or something? You know that would explain a lot."

        "Shut up." The cup that was in his hands con-caved slightly as his grip tightened around it. "I don't understand why fate would pair him up with someone so...so..."

        "So guarded? So bitchy? So insignificant compared to him? News flash! I didn't ask for this," I felt my anger begin to rise causing Jaimie to look over at me. He shook his head then without another word, left the cafe.

        ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

        A smile flickered onto my face as I turned onto my street and was greeted by mom's car sitting in front of the house. The sun was barely setting and it was still raining causing the rain clouds to look as though they were large balls of cotton candy. The conversation with Jaimie still occupied most of my thoughts, but I put them aside so that I could have a proper evening with my mother.

        After parking my car, I bounded up the pathway leading up to our house in full speed. The door groaned as I pushed against it swiftly. "Mom?" I called out into the dimly lit house. She wasn't anywhere downstairs, but a thud upstairs drew my attention to the stairs and I began my ascent.

        Her door was slightly ajar so I quietly pushed it open. I wasn't ready for the site that greeted me.

        My mother was underneath a man that looked younger than her, actually he looked like he could pass as an older brother of mine. They were both stark naked and panting as he did his... "business." Both of being oblivious to my presence and ever growing anger I cleared my throat impatiently.

        "Terra!" Screeching in surprise, she shoved the guy off of her and wrapped the comforter around her. "I... I didn't expect you do be home so early. I thought you sai-"

        "So this is how you replace dad? By fucking random guys? In the same fucking bed that he used to sleep in?" The calmness in my own voice surprised me, but I found my anger slowly spreading through my body as I watched her fidget for words. The guy had the common sense to cover his junk up and now he sat awkwardly beside the bed on the floor. Where he belonged.

        "Do not use that tone with me, young lady! I have every right to move on from your father's passing. You and I both knew that it would happen eventually." She snapped at me.

        I laughed bitterly at her, "so is this the reason why you never came home? Too busy screwing guys than to stay with your daughter that needs you? Yeah, real fucking smart of you. Dad barely died two years ago. That does not give you the right to start running around like a who-" A stinging sensation filled my cheek and I felt my head whip to the side. During my rage I hadn't even noticed her get up from the bed. Tears burned in my eyes as I watched her glare at me.

        "Your father died because he chose to die. I should not have to stay at home with a daughter that stays in her room all day moping! Get over it, Terra! The past is the past."

        "Oh, I'm sorry I miss my dad. I'm sorry I'm the trouble child that you never wanted. I'm sorry for giving a shit!" Her hand raised toward me tenderly as a silent tear rolled down my heated cheeks, but I stepped away from her. My hands motioned from her to the guy, "if this is not gone by tomorrow, then you can consider me gone." Her mouth opened in protest, but I turned on my heel and stalked towards my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me.

        With tears threatening to spill over, I fell onto my mattress and let my walls come crumbling down.