Who is Mila Mathews?

Chapter 22

I wrote this WHOLE FREAKING CHAPTER AND MY COMPUTER ERASED IT ALL!!!!!!

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Lina looked so beautiful in that ruby red dress. The whole prom was destroyed, but I was able to keep myself steady by looking at the paramedics take in Lina's dead body, by looking at her stunning red dress. When her lifeless body was fully loaded into the car, realization hit. It hit hard. Lina, one of my best friend's, just died right before my eyes and under my nose by a beautiful girl in a prom dress with a matching masquerade mask. Mila was said to have killed my mom. My dad raped girls with my mom. My dad killed Deni and he tried to kill me. He wanted to take me and rape me too. Why the hell is my life so fucked up?

The paramedics drove off. Everyone didn't seem to be in the mood to talk. We all just stood around each other, wondering if that shot was random, or totally meant for Lina. I already knew. She told me what Mila had been hiding. That shot was meant to kill her. Mila killed Lina. I was positive about that, but it wan't Mila who had actually killed her. No, it wasn't. Something told me that deep down, deep, deep down, that I had met that girl who killed her. I had met her and she was amongst the people in the music department. She was amongst me every day.

Lina's funeral rolled in. The school had been in charge of it due to the fact that she had no family. Or she didn't know where they were. I attended. I cried more than everyone else that had too attended. Not because I loved her or somewhat; I didn't love her like that, not yet anyway. I wasn't crying because I was single. No, I was crying because this made me realize something.

This made me realize that everyone I love or ever have loved has died. My mom, my dad, Kyle, Deni, and Lina. I either loved them as a friend, family member or more. Much more. And that realization hit me. Hit me like a bullet. No, not like a bullet. I've been hit with a bullet and it didn't quite feel like that. It felt worse. It felt as though I was claustrophobic and was trapped in a cage; I was drowning in water, or a ton was dropped on my chest. It felt as though my worst fears were put together and taking over my life. I had a jinxed life. Anybody I love dies. At the time it seemed like a reasonable explanation for all the deaths, but over time I realized it had to be a coincidence. It wans't.

I made a promise to myself after that day. I will not love anybody, not even myself. I cut Dominik off completely. He began to go out with Ema and she somehow ended up pregnant by the end of the year, so they were getting married. I felt like a million rocks were thrown at me. It hurts to know he was moving on. Moving on from what exactly? I never really had a thing with him. We were always friend trying to make it more, but we never tried hard enough. And that's why he moved on after I cut him off. When I made that promise that day, I didn't think enough to cut off my friends and I felt as though that was the reason why more death's made an appearance in our senior year at boarding school.

Three girls. Car accident. Three girls were driving home on a weekend from a restaurant speeding. Speeding: because their curfew to go back to school was at 10:00 and it was well past 10:00. A drunk driver was on the road at the same time and was speeding too. One car ran a red light and crashed into each other with full force. It was then that more mourning had indeed been brought upon the students once again for the death's of Gulianna and Samantha and the injuries of Erika, who was currently in a very serious coma. I felt as though this was no coincidence. They died because they befriended me.

Winifred and I drifted apart and I was soon alone for the rest of the school year. Not until another death had happened. This one had been very insignificant to me and for a sickening reason made me happier. Ema Horvat had died from a traumatic death that involved a fire. A fire that had been at a gas station. It was then that I realized that death is a natural thing and I had no cause for it. Winifred and I had become friend again but Dominik was clearly stuck up on Ema's death. He wasn't ready to move on.