Miss Assistant (Miss Series Book 2)

Chapter 38:

Alex

Walking through the hospital corridors, I realize that I'm so sick and tired of my life. There are the sunshine moments, sure, like Teddy, the lunches with Annabelle, and my best friends. It just feels like something is missing. I was happy with him. I felt like a better version of myself and now that he's gone, truly gone, or at least, now that I realize it, I feel like I've lost a piece of myself. Being with him, was like being on a subway train. Getting on was easy, the ride was smooth, until it stopped and suddenly, I had to get off, and that was the end. It was short lived, but it was absolutely wonderful, and some piece of me will never forget that. A small piece of me will always be on that train, and it will stay there forever.

I shuffled around the hospital, treating patients, shadowing the doctor, and going through the motions. It's the same everyday. My life feels like a broken record.

"Adventure." I whisper to myself. "I wish there was a little adventure."

"Adventure?" A voice says behind me. I stiffen. It's him. "I can give you an adventure."

I don't turn around, even though I desperately want to. I close my eyes, as the tears threaten to spill. How I've missed us. Oh how I've missed him.

His hands find my shoulders and he turns me around to look at him. He looks how I feel. His eyes are sunken, his normally messy in a good way hair, looks extremely messy, in a bad way. He is wearing a work shirt, and a tie, but the tie is coming undone, his shirt looks extremely crinkled, and his sleeves are rolled up at different lengths. The scars still are healing, from the fire, the scabs still present. In other words, he looks like he has been attacked.

"I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't live with myself anymore. I needed to tell you Alex, as soon as you left, I pushed her off of me, and I told her I never want to see her again.  I never kissed her Alex. I love you and only you. The "other night" she was speaking about was a lie. We did nothing. The last time I saw her was at that supper in Paris. I love you Alex. Please forgive me." He begs. I can't look him in the eye. A part of me wants to forgive him. I want to hold him and tell him I love him, and even though my heart and brain both agree that I do, a huge part of me tells me to not say a thing. I can't tell him I love him, because he's hurt me a thousand times before. He has torn me apart time and time again, and what's to say he won't do it again? I can't tell him I love him, because I'm afraid I will be broken again. This time, broken beyond all repair.

So, I stand there, silent.

"I know I've hurt you Alex. I've hurt you so many times, and I don't deserve another chance with you. I've blown them all. I just need to tell you I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and I hope that one day, one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me, when the time is right." He whispers and turns to walk away. My body screams in protest. My mind cries out, screaming at me to do something. Anything. My heart breaks once again, and a single tear rolls down my cheek.

"Wait." I whisper. He stops in his tracks, and before I can stop myself, I run into his arms. I, like a fool, run into his arms, and stay there. I sob, and I feel my heart shatter into a thousand pieces once again. Every cell in my body is conflict with the next. The one tells me to forgive him, the other tells me to kiss his face off, and another tells me to walk away and never look back, and I don't know what to do.

But, I stay in his arms, and somehow, it's feels like it's enough. I feel safe, and protected, even though my walls are still sky high. I breathe in deeply, trying to stop a sob from escaping my lips, but I can't, and my lips betray me. The sob fills the silence of the corridor, my body shakes and I feel Dylan hold me tighter. My body stops shaking but I can feel his body is also shaking, and as I look up to his face, I can see that his face is also wet and fostering from the fresh tears. I swallow the lump in the back of my throat, which feels all scratchy now, and breathe in deeply.

"I know it wasn't your fault, but saying that, and knowing it didn't make it hurt any less. I've been hurt so many times Dylan. If," I have to pause to swallow the lump forming in my throat, "If I get hurt again, I don't think I could put myself back together again."

"Don't you see Alex," He puts his hand on my cheek, and I can't stop myself from leaning into his touch, "You don't have to put yourself back together again. We are broken, you and I. That's what makes our love so unique, so precious and beautiful. We are diamonds in the rough, my princess. I promise, I promise I will show you every broken part of me, and I will move mountains to make you better again. My princess, I don't deserve you, I haven't deserved you from the very beginning. But," he softly strokes my cheek, but I don't let the walls fall down, "I will love the rest of my life, if you choose me, to show you and prove to you that you are the most precious thing in my entire existence. You are worth more to me than a thousand universes. There is no one like you Alex."

The most precious thing in my entire existence. The sentence rushes around my brain and slowly but surely, the flowers begin to bloom, the sky doesn't look so dark, and I can see the stars again. Hope. That's what it is. I'm precious to him. The word means a thousand different things to me, and with the single word, I let my wall down, just slightly. I can see out the tower now. I can see him.

So, I lean my head in his chest, and hug him tightly. "A chance." I whisper, and somehow, that's enough. A chance.