Where do I fall

QUESTIONS

I sighed as I reached the front door praying in my mind that my dad wasn't home.
I opened the door and it was silent
I smiled in my mind saying thank you over and over
I dropped my bag and went straight to the kitchen because I was starving
I opened the cupboard and I saw nothing
Literally nothing
I felt like I was gonna cry
I sighed and just went straight to my room fell on my bed and I was out

DREAM
..................
"Hey mom" I said walking into to the kitchen
"Hey baby,how was your day at school" she said without giving me eye contact
"It was ok I guess" I said as I sat on the stool at the island
"What happened" she said
"I got into a fight because a boy bullied me" I said softly
"Awww baby come here"she said
I got up from the stool and soon I was in the crook of her neck crying my eyes out"
"I promise everything will be ok"she said
"Ok mom"
.END of DREAM.........

I flew up crying my eyes out
I miss her so much there is never a day she isn't on my mind
Why did she have to leave me so soon?
Why didn't she tell me what she was going through?
Why did she leave me to wonder why she did it?
I thought
They are so many things that I would wanna tell her but I can't, so many things I would ask her but I can't.
Ever since she died my dad hasn't been in my life
I'm basically living alone
With no one to hold me no one to ask me if I'm ok
"All I wanna do is say I LOVE YOU one more time " I sighes as I slowly fell asleep .

...............