Spirited Away: The Wait [ORIGINAL]

Chances

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

-Dr. Seuss

     It was time for another chemotherapy session. Chihiro walked away from Haku’s hold and her mother’s gaze into the room with the nurses.

     “We’ll be right out here when you come out, Chihiro,” Yuko said.

     “Okay, I’ll see you guys later,” she called behind her.

     The room that day wasn't too crowded; only three or four other people were going through infusion as well. “So, I guess it’s another girl-to-girl bonding session, huh,” Sakino commented.

     Chihiro feigned horror. “I want another nurse here with me.”

     Sakino narrowed her eyes at the woman while helping her into the comfortable armchair. She handed her a two fluffy pillows as Chihiro settled comfortably in her seat. “So, what did the doctor say when you had your checkup earlier?”

     “Generally fine, except my red blood cell count is a little low these days.”

     “I see. How are you feeling though?” She stuck a needle into Chihiro’s forearm and another over her chest.

     Chihiro barely flinched at the sting. “Fine, I guess. Just a little dizzy every now and then.”

     “That’s good. By the way, it’s not very crowded today. Why didn’t you ask your boyfriend to stay here with you?”

     She shrugged. “He has things to do, and I have a book to keep me company.”

     Sakino nodded understandingly. “How are things going between the two of you?” she asked.

     Chihiro hesitated slightly before answering. “Fine.”

     “Doesn’t seem ‘fine’ to me. You’re usually so lovey-dovey around him and today things seemed pretty flat. Want to talk about it?”

     “It’s nothing, really… it’s actually kind of complicated?”

     The nurse sighed and stood up, smoothing out her skirt. “Nothing and complicated? Last I checked, you don’t use oxymorons very much. Something’s up.”

     “It’s… me, not him…” Chihiro muttered dryly.

     “What’s wrong, dear?” The skin on Sakino’s forehead crinkled with worry. Chihiro was rarely as moody as this.

     “It’s just that I think he deserves better. Someone who will actually grow old with him or hang around longer instead of me, you know?”

     “I know, I’ve had patients who had the same considerations as well,” Sakino replied. She sat down beside Chihiro and patted her shoulder.

     “Are you planning on breaking up with him?”

     “I don’t know, honestly… I can’t tell what’s right and what’s wrong anymore, and it’s painful. It hurts so much. And I’ve been really confused this past week. I want to stay by his side, but at the same time I don’t want to be this selfish person who can only be with him for so long, and then eventually if my time comes prematurely, leave him to be scarred and broken forever.” Chihiro tried to discreetly wipe a single tear from her cheek.

     Sakino was quiet for a moment. “Do you love him?” she asked.

     “Yes.”

     “That’s all you need to know, then.”