The Hurting Game (Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter Five: Wreckless

Chapter Five: Wreckless

[Chloe's POV]

Harry dropped me home later that evening and as soon as he left I ran upstairs into the bathroom and locked the door. Locking everyone and everything out of my life seemed like a pretty good idea right now. I hated my life but most of all i hated myself. I didn’t even have enough respect for myself to do something about it. I felt the tears start flowing again as I let myself fall completely apart. It’s like no matter what I tried to tell myself, I just couldn’t stop the pain! I screamed at myself in the mirror, I felt so alone, so helpless. I couldn’t even protect myself. I was useless. I stumbled over to the bench and opened the top drawer. I reached my hand into the drawer and felt around until I felt something sharp. It was a razor. I pulled it out and placed it over my wrist as I furiously started scratching it across my skin. I was so angry, so upset. I didn't know what i was doing or what i was actually getting myself into but all i knew is that it was real pain and hurt more than how my head and my heart were feeling. A few minutes later and my wrists were covered in cuts and blood. I tried washing my hands under the sink but all it did was turn the water red. This wasn't like me! Why was i acting out? Normally i just hid my problems deep inside me but maybe now i was finally starting to crack.

What had I just done? Why had I just harmed myself? My mind was blank and it refused to answer any of my questions. I stood up on my shaky legs, opened the bathroom door and dived under the covers to my bed. I wrapped the sheets around my wrists to stop the bleeding and laid my head down on a few of my pillows. I was tired and needed some sleep, I needed to drift off to a place where nothing really mattered. Where I could be myself and not have to worry about a single thing or a single person trying to hurt me. And after I’d found that place, I just needed to pray that I didn’t ever wake up. 

I awoke the next morning a little dizzy but I was okay. It was early tuesday morning and I didn't feel up to going to work so i called in sick. I sat on the lounge and held my face in my hands. I was a wreck. But one thing i knew for sure is that i was god damn hungry. I went into the kitchen and made myself a lazy breakfast before going and sorting out what i was going to spend the day doing. I got changed into some old clothes and decided that i would paint the spare room in the house seeing so this was probably the one day that i'd actually get time to do it and it would take my mind off my problems for once, or atleast i hoped it would. I'd only just recently moved into this house and there were still a few boxes lying around here and there. 

I'd already set up the light blue paint and had all my rollers ready, i was just about the start painting when i heard my mobile ring from the lounge room.

"God damn it..." I mumbled under my breath. What could Tom possibly want now? All i knew is that i didn't want to meet up with him or even talk to him. I needed time to get over everything that had happened yesterday. I ran into the lounge room and answered my phone. I was pleasantly surprised when i heard Harry's husky voice greet me as i answered the phone. 

"Hey Chlo.." He mumbled happily.

"Hey Haz" I replied back to him in a relieved tone. 

"How's work?" He chuckled mischeviously. He knew how much i hated my job, the only reaosn why i didn't find another one was because i was paid well. And he knew how much i hated him for not even having to work! "More importantly, how is that eye of yours?" He asked changing the tone in his voice to concerned. 

"Yeah, not too bad..." I replied nervously as i looked down at my scared wrists. It wasn't just my battered and bruised eye that was painful now. 

"Well that's good." He said affectionately.

"Yeah and i'm not even at work today, i thought i'd take a day off just to breath and relax, but i'm painting the spare room if you want to come and join? Please! It will take less time if you're here!" I giggled as i begged him to come over. I needed some good company to cheer me up and right now i didn't even care that Tom didn't want me seeing him. Plus, i still needed to figure out my true feelings for Harry, and what better way to do it than to spend time with him. He didn't hesitate in accepting my offer and told me he'd be right over. 

I went onto my laptop and checked my twitter while i waited for his arival, today would be fun,or atleast i wanted it to be!