Letters...

First Letter: Fallen

My dearest Arabella,

                           It's been only 24 hours since you left but I can't still believe that you're gone. Tears won't stop flowing from my eyes and now I'm at my lowest of low. My whole world just stopped; the light faded into the darkness. It's so hard to fathom my future now that the one I'm willing to spend it on is not on this world.

                           I've been preparing for this very moment for almost 6 months but its still very difficult to face this situation no matter how hard you've conditioned your heart and mind. I said to myself long ago that I've accepted that this is our fate, but it still breaks the very essence of myself to think that you've really have gone away. Questions keep popping inside my mind, keeping me from thinking straight. Why do we have to suffer this fate? Of all the people in this world, why this unfortunate event be fall upon us? I know that you've fought so hard to win this battle, doing everything that is possible to keep yourself afloat. When hope seems to flow out of me, you're the one that smiles and keep telling me that as long as we have each other nothing can ever happen to you. We always envision our life together but now that will never come true. I'm so afraid of losing you but you said no matter what may occur you will always be here, and you will never leave me alone.

                           As months pass by, I saw each part of you eroding away. You're like a star that is slowly losing its brightness in the midst of a dark sky. Each day this sickness slowly takes every little bit of you in me but still I see your eyes full of hope. Everyday I keep on asking for a miracle that will happen, so you won't lose this fight. But still in the end, it seems that there is no way of saving your fall from grace.

                           It's so unfair that you've taken away from me. Can't see a bright tomorrow without you here by my side. I'm trying to understand why this must happen, but it seems hopeless. Doubt covers my heart, lingering it with fear. Keep searching for answers but I can't seem to find any. I'm so lost, can't find my way in this world.

                           I'm missing you so much that now I can't stop from crying. There are so many things I want to say to you and so many words are left unsaid. I feel that I didn't completely express on how much you mean to me and now it's too late to do.

                           Can't accept what fate has brought us. Don't have the courage to say goodbye. In all this madness I just want to say, I'll always be in love with you.

Longing,

Julian