Letters...

Third Letter: Hollow

My dearest Arabella,

Love, Happy Birthday! This should be a very special day for us. I've been planning this since last year. But first, I want to say I miss you so much. Still can't believe that I'll be celebrating your birthday without you. My heart still aching and thoughts in my mind still running around. Not having you by my side is like a tree that longs for the rain to come.

If you are asking me, I can say that I'm starting to be okay every day. I'm trying to return back to somewhat normal. But what's going to normal when you're not here with me right now. Normalcy is something that I think will never be back in my life. God, missing you so bad that while writing this letter, tears are starting to fall from my eyes.

Arabella, I never really want to celebrate but your parents insist that I join them in a simple dinner. I guess it was better than staring at the ceiling of my room. The dinner started quiet but then as time passes by, we began to talk about what going on with my life and theirs. Then the conversation took a turn back to the past. Everything about us, the good memories, how we met and how did we fell in love, how we were the perfect match and our plans for our future. As we talked about every memory we have of you, I felt that you were there with us. Sharing stories and laughter with us. Dinner ended with me sharing a moment with your parents and saying that I'll always be here for them, and I'll always love them.

Then I proceed according to my plan for this day. As I drove to the place of where we first met, I played the CD that you made for my last birthday. Hearing your voice made me realize how hollow I am inside. Then you began to play the piano and hear you sing; it sends this warm feeling through me. I miss hearing your voice, miss hearing my name being said by your lips. I want to always remember your voice and I'll do anything for it not to fade away.

Finally, I arrived at our place. I remember the first time that we met. I was going for my afternoon jog then suddenly the rain starts falling. Since I don't have an umbrella, I took refuge underneath a big mango tree. At first, I thought that I was alone then I heard footsteps. I looked back then it was the first time I saw you. I believe that I was given an opportunity by fate and so I took it. Then I said something and from there we have a conversation and to be followed by many more.

I always remember that connection between us. It was instant and I thought it will last for the rest of our lives. But now as I'm sitting underneath our tree, I feel that I've lost it. And then I close my eyes and it seems that I can hear your voice. It is telling me that our connection will always be here as you're always going to be in my heart. I opened my eyes then tears began to flow.

Love, I really miss you so much. Life's going to more difficult now that you're not here with me. Please guide me from the heavens above as I go through this journey.

I'll always be truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

Always,

Julian