Letters...

Second Letter: Lost

My dearest Arabella,

                        It's been a week since we laid you to rest but I can still feel you here with me. It's been a crazy and sad week, my first 7 days that you're already gone. I've lost my drive to face my day and can't keep my spirit high. God, I'm missing you so much that I'm crying myself to sleep every night.

                        This day is the worst that I'd in my life. I keep on spacing out and I'm completely out of focus. I'm losing interest in whether I do; my mind keeps floating to dreamland. My friends are doing their best to cheer me up but a reality without you is so much to bear. Slowly I'm drowning in this sea of sorrow, have no courage to keep myself afloat. I may as well just lie down on my bed for the rest of my life.

                        Late this afternoon, I went by your house to see how your parents are doing. Arabella, your mom was devastated during your burial. She can't stop crying and I can see the hollowness in her eyes. And now, she's still lost and she's not really talking that much. Your dad is worried about her because she's not really taking care of herself. And I talked to your dad, I found out that they are not coping very well, and they can't still believe that their only daughter is now gone. I can feel the longing in your dad's voice and like me; they are still finding answers to questions that keep boggling their minds. We ended up in tears while talking to each other.

                        Love, I got so many feelings bottled inside of me. You have said that you will never leave me but now you are not by my side. It's so unfair that you must move out of my life leaving me lost and broken. You said that everything happens for a reason but until now I can't find any reason for you to have been taken away from me. Don't they know that my world revolves around you and that you're the oxygen that I breathe? I'm so mad about many things and I'm frustrated that I think that I didn't show how much I love you. I think that no one understands what I'm going through, everyday people are trying to cheer me up, but nothing can ever get my spirit up.

                        Maybe this is a dream that I must wake up, but I know that it's a far fetch wish of mine. Keep imaging that I can travel back in time so I can find another way to save you. But I know it will never come true, so I'll just be here longing to see you again and wishing that you'll still be here with me.

                                                                                                                                                                   Drowning,

                                                                                                                                                                   Julian