Today is the day. Today is Niall's Funeral. All of the boys are at my house trying to get me out of bed to attend his funeral. Im broken. I miss him so much. I havent eaten anything and i haven't moved from my bed.
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When i came back home that day with my boyfriend and went upstairs to my room i saw a note on my nightstand. Thinking it was Louis' i smile at it and grab it to read it. I sat on my bed as i read the note. My eyes couldnt believe what i read and i felt tears fall to my cheeks. Louis came quickly running to my room with a note in his hand his eyes full of tears as well. I quickly stood up and ran to Niall's room Louis following behind me. I try to turn the knob but it hesitates. "Its fucking locked" i whispered. I start banging at the door with my fists. "Niall! Open this door! Please open up Niall" I screamed hoping i wasnt to late. I then kicked the door at least 5 times until it opened. I walked in the room and saw him there. Laying down in his bed. Bottle of pills next to him. I ran to him shaking him trying to wake him up. "Louis.. Call 911 and the other boys." I say voice barely audible. He quickly reaches for his phone and walks outside. "Niall.. Come back.." I cry in his chest. After what seems like a lifetime the ambulance came and so did the other two lads. It was too late though. He was long gone.
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I fix my hair one last time before we head to his funeral. I finished giving my speech. Liam handed me a microphone while patting my back. We all stood there as we heard the music start playing, our cue to start singing. "I know youve never loved the sound of your voice on tape, you never want to know how much you weight, you still have to squeeze in to your jeans but you're perfect to me." I sang eyes brimming with tears. When the song came to Niall's solo, nobody sang. Everyone stayed quiet. That's when i broke down. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I needed him. Next to me. Hugging me, whispering in my ear that everything was going to be alright. I needed him here with me. Im so stupid. I did this. This is all my fault. It's my fault Niall is gone. I could've stopped this. I could've been there. It's all my fault.
(a/n no kidding when i wrote this i was listening to little things and i cried so hard. this was really hard for me to write bc i didnt wanna kill Niall. but i mean i had too. im sorry if you're a niall girl. ilyasm next update probably tomorrow. im sorry if there is any mistakes. Bare with me im typing this with my cell phone.)
