How To Annoy Your Neighbour

Step 16: Help out neighbor so he doesn't catch on to your true intentions

*EDITED*

Jamie's POV

  The next thing I knew, I was flinging my arms around Eli. Not in pure joy, no. No, I did this because I felt like I would probably fall off of this damned ride if I didn't hold on to him. I held onto the man as if my life depended on it because to me, it kinda did. 

  Any feeling of joy, excitement or happiness was gone, completely replaced by fear and the thoughts of what my obituary might say. I was thinking of tons of different ones as we continued slowly rocking in the air.

  How about, "This is what happens when you decide to live the high life."?

  And, oh God. We were rocking....in the air. In the air.

  At the very thought, I tightened my grip on Eli and let out a small whimper.

  Eli started rubbing my back and whispering small words of encouragement. I didn't exactly hear them over the sound of how loud my internal screaming was, but I assumed they were words of encouragement.

  I clamped my eyes shut and held onto Eli.

  Oh, my God. I'm going to die a virgin.

  "Wait, you're a virgin?"

  Did I say that out loud?

  "Yes, yes you did."

  Shit.

  I slowly opened my eyes to see Eli's amused ones.

  I nodded.

  "Yep. I am. Can we move on from that now, to maybe, oh I don't know, the fact that we're hanging in the air at like 200 feet?" I snapped, my voice getting louder as I spoke.

  He scoffed.

  "For your information, it's 206 feet--"

  "OH! Excuse me for not being damn specific!" I snapped.

  He ignored me and continued.

  "And also, maybe if you would stop concentrating on the fact that we're held up so high, maybe you could actually stop acting like a crazy mental person!" he said.

  I gave him a blank look.

  "You already think I'm a crazy mental person," I said.

  "Very true. But an even crazier mental person."

  "Right." I adjusted my arms around him and looked straight ahead, refusing to look down. Since it might just lead to my doom.

  He looked down at me and gave me a reassuring smile.

  "Don't worry, they'll get this thing fixed in no time," he said.

  I gave him a look.

  "After this, you're going to buy me ice cream." I said, "And also, you have to do something incredibly stupid - anything I say - when we get back."

  He narrowed his eyes in suspicion but smirked.

  "Yes, ma'am."

**********

  "YES I WILL GIVE YOU A LAP DANCE IN MY JOCK STRAP LIKE HOW THEY DO IN MAGIC MIKE! AND YES I HAVE RECORDED MYSELF DOING A STRIPTEASE TO THE SONG, MAMMA MIA! ALSO, I LIKE TO WATCH BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ESPECIALLY SINCE IT IMPLIES THAT BESTIALITY IS OKAY! AYYYY PAPI!" Eli yelled, waving at someone outside, just like I told him to.

  I stifled my laughter as I watched him turn towards me.

  He raised an eyebrow.

  "You happy now?" he asked.