Private Porn|Clifford

01.

01.

Moans filled the room, coming from the speakers of the laptop Michael had in front of him.

"This shit isn't helping." He slammed it closed, yanking his pants back up and zipping and buttoning them.

"Luke, I need Viagra or something. I can't get there!" He yelled, walking down the stairs of his shared house with his bandmates.

The lads were all concerned for his health, recently he hasn't been able to "lift".

"Let's go clubbing. Maybe you'll see something you like."

Michael agreed, going back to his room to change. He pulled on all black clothes except for an American flag printed bandana.

They all hit the strip club at full force, downing shots like they were air. Calum paid a ridiculous amount of cash for Michael to get a personal lap dance in a backroom, hoping that he'd finally get it in.

She grinded, she shook, she practically got naked.... and nothing.

Nope, nada, niltch.

He didn't even break a sweat.

*

Fuck, Michael couldn't fix his problem.

It's been weeks since he last boned a chick and he's in desperate need.

"Okay, mate, write down the sexiest qualities in a woman and we'll get her."

• nice ass.
• average tits, not too big, not too small. A good handful.
• big hips, enough to grab onto.
• long hair, great for pulling.
• hazel eyes. Has to have hazel eyes.
• she has to be able to dance.

He scrawled out his list on a sheet of paper before thrusting it towards Ashton.

"Be back later." Luke called as they exited, slamming the door behind them.

Hours passed.

Michael got bored.

He stood up from his seat on the couch, his knees a bit shaky from not using them all day. Michael made his way into the kitchen and pulled out a box of leftover pizza, popping a few slices into the microwave.

As he waited for his dinner, he scrolled through tumblr on his phone.

Just as the microwave beeped, he spotted her.

Her hair, it was down in the picture, was dyed a brilliant blue, matching his current colour.

One hand rested lightly on her bare hip, the other gripped the end of her cropped top tightly.

Her red lips were slightly parted, a lip piercing shining brightly in the light.

She wore no pants, only a pair of black lace panties.

"Wow." Michael murmured, mesmerized.

He felt a tingle run from his chest straight to his groin.

"Damn it." He groaned, setting his phone on the counter and dropping to the floor.

Why? Why could he get aroused by a girl he didn't know, He doesn't even know her name for Christ's sake!

He pulled his knees up to his chest, laying his hands on his face and resting his elbows on them.

"Michael?" Calum called, opening the door to their house.

"Oi! Mike?" Calum called again.

"In here." He groaned, not moving from his spot.

"We couldn't find a chick tonight but, we'll go look tomorrow." Luke said, opening the door to the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Ashton crouched down to Michael's level.

"I found her." He whispered.

"Found who, exactly?" Ashton asked.

"Her, Dammit! Her!" He gestured up to the counter where his phone sat.

"Holy shit." Calum murmured once he picked it up.

"Well, what's the problem then?" Luke asked, seemingly confused.

Michael internally groaned at his stupidness.

"I don't know her," he stood from his crouched position and jumped on the counter, "And I probably won't get to know her."

They all made sounds of understanding, then siting in silence a few moments afterwards.

"Mate," Luke began slowly, "This tumblr page is a L.A. Porn Company."

-

Do ya like it? Do ya like it? Do ya? Doooo yaaaa?

I came up with this idea while reading another fanfic and I thought "Hey, what if one of the boys hired a pornstar or a stripper? And BA-BAM! Thus, this story was born.

((btw im writing this and my mom is sitting next to me. im afraid she's gonna look over my shoulder or some shit and be like "wat the fak are u writing? u need jesus" and then ground me. prayers are needed.))