Well, being born as the half sister of a very famous footballers will make your life full of spotlight. How not? if your half brother is Gerard Piqué, a defender of a famous football club Barcelona and Thibaut Courtois, the premier league winner wit...
(Triggered warning: Suicide mention and Self Harm)
Today i'm about to ask Bianca, about what i heard last night. I should've ask for her explanation about her arrange marriage with Mesut. I called her to my office room and she came with a dark circle under her eyes.
"Hey why are you calling me?" She asked.
"Actually i was in your apartment last night and i heard the whole conversation you had with Mesut."
"I know, i saw you." I must've really bad at this escaping things. "Sorry that you have to hear about that."
"Is it true that your mother wants you to marry him?" I asked. "Kyle told me about it, but he didn't know it was Mesut, isn't it?"
"Yeah, she's always like this, controlling my life and wanting everything in her way."
I reach her hands. "Why you didn't tell me anything about it? I will always been there for you everytime you need me."
"I don't want you or Kyle to pity me because of her. I just want a happy life here without everyone asking me are you okay? I hate it."
"I talked to Kyle yesterday and he wants you to trust him enough to tell him about your story."
"I love him Juli. I don't want him to look at me as a pathetic girl." She sobbed. "Before i met him, Mesut was the only one who always been there for me, trying to makes me happy, but then he never saw me more than a bestfriend.
I met Kylian because of you and i'm very happy that i could find someone who loves me. I will never accept this arrange marriage."
"You're not a pathetic girl just because you tell him about your story okay? I told Neymar about my mother's story too."
"I don't know what to do Juli, i can't tell these things to him."
"But he will never understand your problems, if you don't tell him about it." I hugged her. "Look i know it's hard. You don't have to re-open your old wounds about your past. Just tell him the thing that he deserves to know."
"You already know about my mother," She wiped her tears. "Sorry to ask this, but how about yours?"
I don't know how to answer her question. I've told her that my mother left me when i was 10 years old because of Thibaut's passion of football, but i never told anyone about the real story behind it, not even my family, except for Eden.
"She—" I stuttered.
"It's okay. I'm sorry."
She already promised me that she will explain everything to Kylian. I'm glad that she finally wants to open herself to us. Bianca is young, but her mind is more matured than any of us. She can handle things and understand our different characters, i love her for that.
Our talk about Bianca's mother has remind me of mine. I never actually wants to think about her. Ever. I still hate her for what she did to me, my father, and Thibaut. I focused on my work and go home after. The thoughts of my mother still haunting my head. I decided to call Eden, because he's the only one who knows about it.
"Hey, what's up?"
"I'm thinking of her."
"Who?"
"Her."
"Oh shit, don't think about her anymore or you will do something dangerous Juli."
"I've tried, but its like she's been there all over my mind."
"Do as i said when you feel there is something in your chest. Took a deep breath and exhale, remember what she wrote in the last paragraph of that letter."
"It's all bullshit Eden."
"Don't you dare to hurt yourself! You already promised me that you won't cut yourself again."
I hang up his calls and went to my drawer. I looked for a letter that my mother wrote for me after she left, i hide it therr so no one can found it, including me. I took a long audible breath before i decided to read that letter again.
February 23rd 2005
It's been a month since Mami left. I know you must've been mad at me for leaving you, your brother and your father, but i hope you're the only one who can understand my reason for what i've done my little girl.
I'm not leaving because of your brother's passion of football. I support him for that. I have my own problems that makes me have to leave my family and this world. Don't tell anything to your father and your brother.
Juliette, Mami loves you and i hope you can live your life peacefully, unlike mine. You're the only one who saw me suffer through my pain and i don't you to watch me suffer again.
I love you Juliette, my little angel. I'm sorry that i have to leave you from this world. Now i'm in peace now. I don't want you to be like me, so keeps going on with your life okay? I always pray to god that your father and my children will always gets his blessing.
Love,
Mami.
"It's all bullshit!" I throw that letter and went to my bathroom to take my razor blade.
I won't do anything that she wants me to. I scratch my arms with the razor blade and feel the blood rushing out of my skin. This is what she feels when she did that.
She didn't even bothered to ask my 10 years old self, to keep silence about her suicide and makes Thibaut feels guilty for his life. She sent me that meaningless letter and hoping that i will live my life peacefully without a mother by my side.
Blood was covering my t-shirt and i turn on the showers to wash the it away. I watch the water washed away the blood from my skin. I felt numb.
Later i felt a massive dizziness inside my head. My vision's starting to black out, before i saw a shadow came barge in to my bathroom and picking me up to his hugs.
---
february is a hell of a match. psg x mu. chelsea x mu. el clasico. barca x lyon. especially my baby's birthday!! happy birthday baby, i hope you will recover soon from your injury and have a greatest day in your life! can't believe you're 27 already!
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