Secrets {Zianourry Zayn Centric}

~Chapter 10~

"Recovery is a fight, and losing means death."

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*I changed Zayn's age to nineteen. Yes, I do know that Zayn is the second oldest, but this is just for the sake of this book. Sorry if this bothers anyone. Also, this chapter does contain some racism. No I do not support or promote racism.

It was weeks after, months even. Zayn himself thought that he was in the clear, but the boys always find out. He told them about Mason, they actually all became close friends, but he may have stretched the truth a little. He told them that he met Mason while he was out, but he didn't tell them how, and he didn't intend to ever. Mason came over to their house for dinner, arriving a little early in order to spend a bit more time with them.

Mason had been doing a whole lot better especially because now he had friends to help him through it. He even decided to see a therapist to get help. As of that moment, Mason had been clean for one week. It wasn't that long, but it was an accomplishment for him. Of course, he had slipped up a couple of times beforehand, but that was all part of recovery. Zayn on the other hand, was a totally different story.

Zayn was the total opposite. There were days when he wouldn't cut, but that was only when he had eyes on him all day. He had tried recovery multiple times, but he would just relapse and then cut even more. It was a vicious cycle.

The boys were not fully aware of this. Sure, they knew that Zayn would slip up a little, but they didn't know that he slip ups were the days he didn't cut.

Louis was upstairs looking for Zayn so he could tell him to come eat, but when he entered Zayn's room, he was met with a stack of letters on his bed.

Louis was a nosy person, he always was, and always will be.

He opened the letters and was shocked at what he was reading. The more he read the more panicked he became.

He rushed downstairs to tell the boys, but he was greeted by all the boys eating, including Zayn.

They all turned to see the rushed look on Louis' face slowly fading away. As Louis put two and two together, Zayn noticed the letters in his hands.

"Zayn, what the hell is this?" Louis questioned angrily. He was just so upset with the fact that Zayn could do this to him, to all of them. Louis tried so hard to make sure Zayn felt included, welcomed, and loved, and he had failed. It was the worst feeling he had ever experienced.

"Uh, that's um, not mine?" he tried, but it came out more like a question. He was trying to convince Louis to drop the subject of the letters, but it seemed impossible.

"You know damn right it is! How could you do this? I love you so fucking much, and this is what you do? I understand that your in rough spot right now, but so are we okay? We are in this together. We are a team, and teams communicate when something is wrong because that is how teamwork works. You should come talk to us when something goes wrong. I-I just, I just can't do this right now."

Louis rushed upstairs whilst swallowing the lump in his throat that just wouldn't go away. He didn't want the boys to see him like this. He was never like this.

The boys decided to give Louis his space, but they had to figure out what was going on.

"Zayn, what were those letters about?" Liam questioned although he had a pretty good idea.

"Erm, I haven't been completely honest with you guys..." Zayn trailed off not really wanting to share, but by the look on Mason's face if he didn't, he would.

"Ya think?" Niall snorted but quickly shut up after he saw the dirty looks he was recieving.

"Wait, don't tell us yet. We should wait for Louis, but we will definitely talk about this after the concert. Mason, would you mind staying? I feel like you play a big part in this as well," Liam stated firmly.

Zayn sighed. He had forgotten that was today. He didn't want to seem rude, but he really didn't feel like doing a concert. He trailed off into his room to kill time, but stopped by Louis' when he heard the sobs.

"Um, Louis? Can I uh talk to you?" Zayn questioned hesitantly, not really expecting an answer. Honestly, Zayn didn't want to talk to Louis, but he knew that he would be upset if he didn't at least try.

With no luck, he heard Louis reply. "If you really want to."

Zayn stood at the door for a moment. Did he really want to?

"Actually, I don't want to interuppt. I should probably get ready," Zayn rushed off feeling like a complete idiot. He hated when people did that, why not just answer with a yes or no.

Zayn opened his door, ready to just let all his emotions out, when he heard Liam yell to get ready to leave.

Zayn threw on some random outfit because he knew that an outfit was already waiting for him there, before leaving the house.

~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~

The boys had just finished their second-to-last song, when they were reading signs from the crowd. The boys were all scanning the room for posters they liked, and Zayn was having a pretty decent time.

They all sat down, preparing for their next song, when Zayn spotted a sign about him. It read:

DIE TERRORIST!
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                |_____Zayn Malik

Zayn felt tears sting the back of his eyes, but it wasn't just because of the poster. It was because he let the boys down, he made Louis cry, he let them find out, he was a screw up.

Zayn heard his part coming up, but he couldn't do it. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He heard Liam and Niall cover for him, but he couldn't take it.

Not embarassment of missing his part, or the smirk on the girls faces.

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A/N

Hey guys! It's been so so long, and I'm super sorry, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Also, this chapter is dedicated to r_zaryy for voting!