Secrets {Zianourry Zayn Centric}

~Chapter 12~

"Keep it on the inside because that's the safest place to hide."

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It was nearly two months later. Things were kinda looking up. Zayn had been clean for a month and a half, and winter had arrived meaning that the boys got a break from work.

Since it was nearing Christmas, Louis and Niall took a vacation to go see their family. They would be back in time for Louis' birthday and Christmas, but they needed to spend some time away from all the drama. The other boys had the option too, but Harry and Zayn did not want to go.

Zayn did not want to go in order to avoid facing his family. He knew that he was prolonging the inevitable, but he could not bring himself to do it no matter how many times the boys said it would be good for him. Finally, the boys stopped asking becuase they didn't want to push their luck considering Zayn had been clean for so long.

Harry on the other hand, just saw this as an opportunity to plan the "best Christmas ever". This was the first time that all the boys would spend Christmas together, and he wanted to make it special. He always got so excited around this time because so many wonderful things happen. He got to spend time with the boys, see the smiles on ther faces, cook Christmas dinner, and give Lou the best birthday ever. Though he would never admit it, Liam stayed behind because he did not want to leave Zayn and Harry alone.

Sure, Liam and Louis treated Harry as one of the more dominant ones in the group when he was around, but he really wasn't. It all came down to the fact that Harry noticed the dominant nature of Louis and Liam in the beginning of the relationship, and Zayn and Niall hadn't. When he questioned them, they replied with Niall and Zayn's emotional states weren't up to par with their actual age. Harry accepted the answer, but he wasn't stupid. He knew that they would still treat him like Zayn and Niall after all, he was the second youngest in the group, but fake authority was better than none right?

Ever since the Louis and Niall left, Zayn had been quite closed off. He never left his room, and he only ate when he was forced to. He didn't even come out for dinner. Sure, he hadn't cut in awhile, but he hadn't eaten in awhile either. It wasn't because he did not want to, he couldn't. If he couldn't punish himself by cutting, he would do it by starving. His tan skin was growing paler, his hair was thinning out, and dark circles had grown under his eyes, but he deserved it, right?

Zayn lied more often too.

He did not want to, but he felt as though he had no other option. The boys didn't make him go to therapy for cutting anymore, but they were forcing him to go to therapy because they wanted him to move on from what happened. What they did not understand was the fact that going to therapy was only making him unhappy. He was not going to forget about what happened or forgive the man and move on. To him, it was just plain dumb, so everytime he had therapy, he got in his car and paid the therapist to leave him alone and no tell the boys.

Liam and Harry had tried to get Zayn out of his room multiple times, but everytime Zayn refused, until today. Zayn heard a knock on the door and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Hey Zee, You have not come out in awhile because you like your room, but uh I was wondering if I could come in?" Harry's voice rang out.

Zayn contemplated for a bit before opening the door, but he did. Truth be told, Zayn missed the boys, and he could not resist letting Harry in. Harry's face broke out in a grin.

"Good. I was beginning to doubt if you would let me in," Harry confessed whilst jumping onto Zayn's bed.

"Erm yeah," Zayn answered not really knowing how to reply.