The Handcuff Game

Chapter 22 - Butterflies

I held in my tears until the end of the hall, but once I was through those double doors, it was a full water works show. I rounded the corner and sank to the ground against a rather secluded corner.

I pushed my back to the concrete wall, yanked my knees to my chest and just let go. I hadn't cried since my Dad died, and because of that, this cry had to be an absolute shit show full of disgusting grunts and even more snot.

You know when you cry about something that doesn't seem to warrant such intense crying? Well, that's how I felt – I didn't know exactly why I was crying. It felt like a whole conglomerate of things. I did know that I felt like if Alec still remembered, I would feel better. I just couldn't believe I had lost him.

I tried to calm my sobs. You ran from him, remember idiot? This is your fault. You should be happy – at least he's happy with Brin.

"Reed?" A soft voice traveled from around the corner.

Suddenly, Alec appeared and leaned against the fall across from me, a tight line forming on his lips.

"Go away." I wiped my face, and fixed my hair, trying to hide my ugly cries. Why was he here right now? Now he gets to see me like this?

He crouched in front of me, as if genuinely concerned, "Are you okay?"

"Just go away. Why are you even here? You never talk to me out of class." I said weakly.

He reached out, hesitant at first, as if he were contemplating if it was a good move. But he did it anyways – he touched my chin with his finger and lifted my face.

His eyes crinkled in worry, "And you've never cried after talking to Brin."

My eyes lowered to the ground. I couldn't look at him in the eyes. It hurt too much.

"What's wrong?" He continued. "Did I do something in class?"

I snorted, "You always do something in class."

He smiled, "Well it's not that easy to talk to you. What else am I supposed to do?"

My eyes met his, and for a moment, it felt as it had last night. When we were so in sync – when it felt like something was beginning. I wondered if he felt it too, or if the feelings were gone just as the memories were.

He searched my eyes, looking for a response that didn't come. He sighed and sat down next to me, his shoulder brushing mine ever so slightly. "Why do you think I mess with you?"

I shrugged and sniffed, "To annoy me."

He chuckled, "Why would I go to such lengths to annoy you?"

I blinked at him and decided to say something. Something that I had said all the time, but I had never wanted to hear from his lips, "Because you hate me."

He looked at me, a little too intensely. "Reed, I do not hate you."

I bit my lip. Say it you coward! Say it!

"I don't hate you either." I breathed.

We both took in the silence that followed. What was there to say from here?

A stray hair flew across my face, and he instantly reached out and tucked it behind my ear, just as he had at the river. He leaned closer...then stopped and I found myself begging the universe for him to continue.

As if he heard my pleas, he pressed his lips against my forehead. It only lasted for a few seconds, but in those few seconds, butterflies burst through my stomach and the wind picked up around us.

Leaves scuttled as the breeze rushed through our bodies.

Alec leaned back, his eyes widening slightly, "Why did you leave?"

I furrowed my brows, "What?"

"Last night...you left."

I couldn't identify the expression on his face – it was a mix of shock, realization and something else...

He remembered? "You remember?"

He nodded, "Everything. Why didn't yo-."

I cut him off and smashed my lips against this before he could finish.

I wasn't about to screw this chance up again.