Chalk Dust || z.p.

five

I won't point any fingers
I won't say it was you
I let life take it's time
Any time you see the truth

~tRuTh. Zayn J Malik

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"you are appreciated more that what you could ever imagine"

okay, zayn gotta admit, those words were kinda sweet. the moment zayn caught himself thinking that, he gave a frustrated sigh. of course, he'd be interested in his chalkboard stalker. well, perhaps interested insinuates too much there, but the mystery is admittedly intriguing.

things the other night with gigi went better than expected. they're taking a break and neither of them felt hurt by it. zayn thinks that, that's maybe it, a last hurrah for them and, whereas he couldn't help but feel relieved. and he knows, that neither of them are planning on getting back together. he also feels terrified. they've grown too much together but too far apart. he didn't want to resent her for staying and he also didn't want her to resent him for not giving her what she wanted and needed.

'am i a terrible person for having such feelings and thoughts?' zayn asked himself.

'yes, i am' he answered the question himself. 

but, haven't you ever wanted to be just honest with yourself?

and zayn wanted to be just that. honest. it's going to be a great time ahead.

.

zayn walked down towards the sign out security desk again, like a ritual to do before heading back to home.

"good day mr. malik?" liam asked upon seeing him. 

zayn noticed that the television was gone and there's a cassette radio in its place. liam switches from time to time. zayn supposed that's his way of mixing up things at work, to make it a bit interesting.

"yeah, it was. i don't know your last name" zayn smiled at him and signed his name.

when he got no response, zayn looked at liam who was just beaming at him.

"that's good to hear" liam replied and zayn almost wanted to scoff at his nonchalance.

"you know that it was a subtle hint to gain your last name" zayn stated.

"why? so you can facebook stalk me? or instagram maybe? oh twitter?" liam asked, leaning his body towards the edge of his desk.

"but might be nice to get to know the person that has seen me walk through this gate every evening. the only things i know about you, are that you watch tom and jerry and you like adele and even the latter is a guess" zayn spoke, giving his cassatte player a look and completely ignoring the fact that their faces are closer than they should be.

but hey, no one is complaining.

at the moment, it's playing adele's one and only and he half wanted to ask liam who owns cassettes these days.

"my taste in music is dependent upon my mood" liam shrugged his shoulders, tilting his head.

"so, what's your mood now?" zayn asked.

liam gave him a half smile but didn't move his body, which is strange as he'd usually fidget a lot.

"you tell me, mr. malik. what do you think the song is about?"

"unrequited love" zayn answered automatically.

zayn thought liam gave him a sad smile and slow nod but he couldn't really put a finger on it. a few falsettos pass them by and he still hadn't moved. they were just staring at each other like the time is frozen.

"are your hands okay? they're usually so animated, but they seem still tonight" zayn finally broke the silence and almost wanted to smack himself for being so stupid.

"what an odd observation! yeah, they're fine. thanks" liam assured zayn and then, it only occurred for a second but, he frowned, as if perplexed by zayn's scrutiny of him.

liam lifted up his left hand, crackled his knuckles like what they do in movies and then rested his head in his palm as if making a show of it.

zayn rolled his eyes at his theatrics. he couldn't help but smile.

"i'm a teacher. so, i'm constantly on guard as to what kids are doing underneath the tables with their hands" he spoke.

liam pursed his lips suppressing a chuckle and that was when zayn noticed how that sounded.

"that sounded way more sexual than intended" zayn grimaced.

"i understand what you meant and i can't help but look at you differently now" liam chuckled finally at his word vomit.

"you make one accidental dirty comment and world turns on you" zayn sighed dramatically and pouted.

liam breath hitched. it didn't go unnoticed by zayn but he was confused as to what made liam gasp.

"the world is only going to break your heart" liam looked at the radio and back at zayn.

zayn listened to the last chorus of the song and wondered if it's stuck on repeat or if it really has been four minutes since liam and him engaged in a conversation. well, time's a non-existent construct sometimes.

"my surname swoops in and out depending on the season" liam cryptically replied and then zayn remembered their earlier conversation. liam sat back and began to hum along with the song and zayn can't help but shiver at how haunting everything has suddenly became.

"good night, liam" zayn murmured.

"goodnight, mr. malik" liam returned the greeting with a smile.

.

the next day, zayn was confused at the words on the chalk board.

"i am dying to be seen as a swan but i know that i'll always be a duckling to you"

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word count: 1000