Chalk Dust || z.p.

seven

I don't, I don't really know
I don't, I don't really care
Maybe keep it on the low
With stories I don't wanna share  

~wRoNg. Zayn J Malik

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zayn was about to reach the security desk when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. he took it out and looked at the screen notifying him that it's ruth, gigi's cousin. she had never liked the thought of gigi and zayn being together, always citing, 'you guys are two corner pieces of the same puzzle', as an excuse.

ruth's crazy and zayn loves her but he dreaded to pick up to 'i-told-you-so' call.

"are you okay?"

zayn suddenly heard and it was only then he realized that he had been giving a death stare.

"man troubles" he shook his head and smiled.

liam's eyes shot up, probably surprised at what could possibly mean. well, zayn thought liam needn't know that gender doesn't really matter to him. he almost laughed at liam's 'what do i do?' face that he really wears when confronted by something perplexed.

"ex-girlfriend's cousin is telling me that she was right" zayn clarified.

he thought liam breathed a sigh of relief and if he didn't know that liam was gay, he would've believed that he were a homophobe.

yes, liam told zayn that he was gay. it was a weird talk they had that day. it was about students in his class. well, not his fault but zayn really loves shipping his students together because they're really cute!

that day....

"what are you smiling at?" liam asked.

"just...things..." zayn talked giddily.

liam rose his eyebrows expecting him to continue.

"okay. don't judge me but i maybe, just maybe, kinda like to ship student couples" zayn murmured.

"i won't, only if you ship styles and tomlinson too" liam nodded, amused.

"you mean harry and louis?" zayn asked with a glint of wonder and adoration in his eyes.

"of course!" liam smiled.

"i do! louis was comforting harry today...about his grade in last week test" zayn explained.

"oh ...i might have seen louis doing stupid things today, probably to cheer harry up" liam nodded, recalling the events few minutes ago.

"they are so cute together. i call them larry stylinson" zayn giggled.

"wow. louis is my cousin actually" liam smiled, trying to savor zayn's giggle.

"oh really? i didn't know that!" zayn exclaimed.

"yah...he is" liam replied.

"so you are not a homophobic?" zayn asked hesitantly.

"i would be a hypocrite if i am" liam shrugged.

"you're gay?" zayn asked with a tiny smile, but it didn't slip from liam's acknowledgement.

"mhm" liam hummed.

"are you not proud of it?" zayn spoke skeptically.

"i was not born with pride. but i take pride; pride in celebrating who i was born to be" liam beamed.

and zayn felt so proud about liam, proud that he met him. he knew he was born not knowing where life will lead. but he really loved this milestone, when he heard those words slip from liam's mouth. and they talked more about the student ships... and if they talked about shailene and theo, camila and shawn, demi and kehlani, swift and lautner, then no one needs to know. ha!

now....

"are you happy?" liam suddenly inquired as zayn signed out for the day.

he looked up and noticed that liam had been staring at him the entire time.

"pardon?" zayn asked.

liam looked unsure of himself but decided to repeat himself again anyway.

"are you happy? because the minute we ask ourselves the question is the minute we cease to be. so, are you happy?"

'am i happy?' zayn asked himself. he knew, to some extent he supposed he was. no one is truly happy but they remember the times that they are.

"let happiness overwhelm you"

he frowned, at the memorized chalk message from two days ago. he happened to do that a lot, linking the messages to his daily events. he swore that person was from future. if that was future liam, he knew he would be going to be so freaking pissed. he shook his head, realizing that liam's waiting for his response.

"by that logic, it only works if i'm the one asking myself if i'm happy" he replied.

liam chuckled to ease the sudden tension.

"fair enough, but, when i asked that question, did you repeat it in your mind or did you affirm it?" he asked, and for some reason, zayn knew that liam knows the truth.

zayn felt his mobile vibrate in his pocket again, bringing him back to reality. he took it out for momentary distraction from their standoff.

"i gotta go. goodnight liam. see you tomorrow" he threw out.

he made a hasty retreat to the car, leaving behind a confused security guard and shards of the wall that he had so cleverly built up so long ago.

'i can't let happiness overwhelm me when...i'm not even sure what it means to me'

he thought as he sat behind the steering wheel, he looking at his hands, a very few tiny specks of chalk dust lingering on his fingertips.

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word count: 1000