The Complete History of Shromp

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Chap. 1- Birth to Start of Kerchootopia.

                   It was a dark and stormy night in Zerland when i was manifested. I never knew my mother, and my father, Kerchoo, wasn't there when I was born either. I like to compare myself to Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb, because he was cursed with the same struggle as I, and his parents weren't at his birth either. I like to believe that if my father was there when I was born, I wouldn't have such a lust for blood as I do now. Indeed, my father is also disabled. He was infected with Kbola shortly after creating Kerchootopia and assigning the gods. It's terrible to see him unable to go on with normal life, but it's rejuvenating seeing him suffer for all he's done to me.
                   You see, my father had much compassion for the world around him, hence why he created Kerchootopia in the first place. He wanted to save the world, but in his quest to do so, he ignored me, as if i was invisible. That could be because i was inventing a serum that could turn you invisible for an unknown amount of time and I tested it on myself, but regardless- he never cared to even look at me.
My mother was a noble woman, some have said. Daddy Snootlawn the Third knew her, before Kerchoo came into the picture. He always brings up the one time they copulated and he thought he had to get an abortion. He told me, "When i told my father, he cried, 'Abortionists are murderers!' to the skies, and that's how I met the love of my life, Katia." She was like me, inventive and intuitive with a strong passion for anything that she loved. Some days I simply just stare into my fathers eyes, wishing that he was dead and she was alive. No one knew her real name, but most called her, "The All-Seeing-Eye".
                 Shortly after the gods and goddesses were assembled, I distinctly remember telling myself, "Murder Chadwick first, save your father for last." That plan backfired. It's a lot more difficult to kill a bee than originally anticipated, and he works on Free-breakfast-friday's for free, so it could ruin the economy if i killed him off. I then met Snodgrass and Katia, and in that moment I almost revealed to Lieutenant Snodgrass that his dearly beloved wife was cheating on him. If Snootlawn had mentioned that they were indeed illegitimate, i wouldn't have even greeted the legitimate couple in the first place. Now, Snodgrass knows and has still moved on, but refuses to divorce with Katia in fear of losing his god role.
I quickly moved on to see NANI, Shronk, Waluigi and george all chatting amongst themselves. Since i am head God/goddess, i figured i'd join them, but they dispersed upon my entry. That day, i knew I wanted to obliterate those troglodytes even before I knew what obliterate meant. Nobody disrespected Shromp. I ran, crying to my father in hopes of him caring for once about his child's pain, yet I saw the most beautiful fish facing him as I ran into the main hall of the temple. I ran into the main hall, and stopped in place when i saw her from behind.
                "Father! Father! I require assistance-" I halted.
The lovely fish, named Fosh, turned around to face me, forcing my eyes to retreat into their sockets.
                 "Yes, my child? What is the problem?" Kerchoo spoke cautiously.
                  "Hello, Lord Shromp." Fosh turned to face me more with a seductive turn. Albeit she make my ears bleed with her horrifying voice and my eyes pained because of her odd physique, I felt an odd pang of love in my heart.
                  "Who art thou dareth speak to my father in a crisis!" I called to the maiden with my eyes shut tight.
                    "I'm Fosh, my lord. I'm one of the assigned goddesses, and i'd like to ask your hand in marriage."
                      I opened my eyes carefully and stared into the beasts mouth in confusion. Why am i actually considering this? I thought to myself. No. I cannot. I want to rule as a Solo King/Queen in the near future and i do not want to worry about killing off my partner. I took a moment to ponder before finally responding.
                    "No. But i am willing to get to know you. Shall we court for a while instead?"
                     "I suppose that will work, but i promise that you'll want to marry me very soon." Her voice trailed off as she floated past Shromp, licking his ear before floating down the steps and to the God Hall.
                      "What was the crisis, my child?"
                      "I... I cannot remember. Never mind, bitch boy." I wandered away towards the living quarters for the night, so I could be alone, as I heard my father yelling to me "Don't call me bitch boy!".
                      That was my first day as a God/Goddess in BitchBoytopia- Pardon me- Kerchootopia.