Hello, peasants. Sorry for my absence. It's just that... Kerchootopia is becoming rampant with illegal activity. First, the Hot Dog Cartel came around. Thankfully, our beloved Demi-gods of Chaotic Alignment took care of it before it became a real issue. Then, the Moth's from Lamp Land tried to protest for equal rights.
Kerchootopia is a utopia of equity, not equality. The Moth's were given an entire LAND of pure Lamps, and even their own god, which is the Leg lamp from A Christmas story without the heels. It moves by using its overly-muscley toes to pull itself forward at 3,000 miles per second. It's quite the perfect god for them and their community, but instead of being grateful, they try to fly over to us and "beg" for "sustenance to live" and for us to stop "traumatizing them with the Leg Lamp".
We give them their dream, yet they ask for what we have, as if that would truly help them. I have decided to declare warship with Lamp Land due to this, therefore, detaching them from us just enough so it's legal to destroy them if necessary.
In kerchootopia, we have Sunny-D in replacement of the actual sun, considering we recently put up a cage around our city so no one can escape, which effectively shut off the sun. We also have our corn factories, which recycle our food supply perfectly and efficiently. And our public transportation with Floot and it's child, Zingnip (a Demi-god of Chaotic Alignment) is exquisite. We have all the features that our people need, and the moths do as well.
In Lamp Land, they have unlimited lamps, provided by their own personal God, Leg Lamp, and... Actually, that's about it from us. We hate the Moths. They started the Hot Dog Cartel in the first place.
We also had to fight against T-Series recently, in support of our Demi-gods of Chaotic Alignment. Subscribe to Pewdiepie. I will kill you and then myself if you don't.
There are many other trials and tribulations that me and my fellow gods and goddesses had to go through, but I have run out of time. I can sense the Hot Dog Cartel nearby. We cannot have another sausage fraud in our utopia.
Please, murder my father in my honor.
sincerely, Lord/Lordess Shromp
YOU ARE READING
The Complete History of Shromp
Fantasy"shrimpy boi" -Shromp Imposter. | Hello, Children of Kerchoo. Indeed, I am Lord Shromp, the second god/goddess of Kerchootopia. I was told that I was allowed to write a complete history of my life. Well, *george* actually said that I should write a...
