The Complete History of Shromp

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Hello. I would address you all as my slaves but I fear I have become a slave to you.

I have a lot to tell, but only a few moments to tell. Read carefully, for this may be my last message.

For two weeks, I was trapped in a dank dungeon at the hands of my only beloved child, Quarth. Gucci Mother attempted to convince her to let me out, and it eventually worked. I was given the keys to leave on the fourteenth day, so I quickly undid all 23 locks and got the hell out of there. 

I entered ground level again. The fake-sun hit my small eyes and burned them easily. I didn't feel right in the place I once ruled. Nothing had changed, I could see that, and no one even noticed my disappearance. I think that's what put me off. My overbearing importance had gone away while I was trapped mercilessly. 

I just knew I couldn't stay here, but where else could I go other than my homeland, Zerlund? That place was destroyed in a fiery wrath by... Them. I couldn't just pop back in. I may not cherish human life, but I do cherish my own. At least, now I do.

I decided to ask my father for help. What can I say, I was desperate. I went into the temple at the dead of night, unseen by anyone. My father was gone. I woke NANI, knowing that he wouldn't be able to communicate to everyone else (due to his lack of our native language) that I was back or anything of the sort. He told me that he was in Lamp Land for the past two days, trying to bring peace between our worlds, since I was gone and wasn't able to do it myself.

I set out that night without another thought. I had to find my father. I quickly made my way to the forbidden land, and was met by the worst sight of my life.

My father, Kerchoo, Overlord and Creator of Kerchootopia, the land that healed thousands, had fused with the Leg Lamp.

I was horrified. I wasn't exactly sure what I had seen, but when I saw my father from 3,000 miles away reach me in about .5 seconds, I realized what happened. 

I cried to my father, "Oh Lord Kerchoo! What has happened to you? Please, come back to the mainland! The people need your peace!" For once, those words felt true.

"B͔̪e̗̞ ͈͕͎͕̪͙̹g͟o͎̮͍͕̘n͢ȩ̣͇̪̯,̝͉͞ ͖̳f͏o͈ͅr͈̣ ̭̳̖͕̣͙I͍͖ ̲̫̲̠͠a̭͉̳̫m̤̜ ͈̱̘̥t̥̕h͓̹͜e̯̖ ̹̩̜͈̞̳al̛̲̟l̜ ͕̮̘̦͟p̯̰̻̝̥o̴w̧̲̳̤̰͙e̢̫̩̲͉̪r̫̪̤͉̝̞̩f̢̩̫̣͕̺̝ṵ̖̥͠l̛̻̬̗͙͈̗ ̪̪͕̮͉̤I̬̫̩̳͔̟l̜̜̰̩͇̘͍ļ̻͎̠ͅu̳̟͞m҉̲̞͙̠i͙͚̰̙̗n͎͔̗a҉̖̠̺̠̙̙̭t͓i̛̘̦̜͉̥̜ͅṋ͎̮̙̜̜̫g̢͈̤͍͍͚͍̠ ̲̮̭K̛̹̭e͔͈̳r̗̼̬͡c̤̩̫̕h͓̝͍͈͍͝o̡̭̞̟̞̹̞̤o.̭̭̳̝" The beast called to me.

I tried to detest his words, but instead, Illuminating Kerchoo captured me to gain information about Kerchootopia that my father wouldn't have known.

I am currently writing this from inside the hub of Lamp Land, guarded by thousands of moths. I don't think I've ever been more fearful in my life. 

Quarth, Gucci Mother, Chaos, anyone. If you are reading this, it may be too late. Don't try and save me, my time has come, but please, save my father, once and for all. I can't lose him like I lost my mother.

I leave my throne to my beloved significant other, George.

Goodbye, my children.