Under the Surface

1

The slow silent ticking. It was quiet, it was small, but in the deafening silence it was all I could hear.

Tick

Tick

Tick

I curled up in my chair and covered my ears. The low drumming of the clock made my head swirl and my anxiety heighten. What was I even doing here? Why did I think this was a good idea? They can't help me anyways, I'm wasting my time! I have homework and deadlines and work and chores and shopping and people to see and, and, and, and-

"Penny? Penny Lane?"

The incessant thoughts were interrupted by a sweet voice. I looked to the door where a younger lady, no older than 25, stood clutching a pink clip board. She was cute with a curly brown bob cut and green eyes that matched her sweater, which was paired with a beige pencil skirt and black heels. She was the picture of a perfect assistant. Quickly I got to my feet, clutching the strap of my bag in my hands. Her smile broadened and she opened the door fully,

"Right this way"

With a temperament of eagerness I scuttled through the door giving her a small nervous smile. She returned it with a more genuine one and started to guide me through the hall. The walls of the hall were an off white with Target photos of different landscapes. The carpet off set the walls with a dark brown tone that was laced with specks of lighter browns that swam through it. It was obvious they were going for "warm and welcoming" but it came off more as "less scary hospital". The unnerving surroundings made my already ramped mind speed up.

What's going to happen?

Are they going to think I'm crazy?

Am I overthinking this?

Everyone feels this way right? I'm being stupid! This is normal!

Am I normal?

Oh gosh I'm going to freak them out! I'm such a-

"Here we are!"

My head snapped up as I looked at the lady in front of me. We were standing in front of a doorway that lead into a small room. The room had a similar aura as the hallway but the lights were dimmed more, as well as there was a couch and more decoration.

"Go ahead and have a seat on the couch and your doctor will be with you in a moment"

She smiled again and nodded at me as she walked away, I assumed to greet another patient. Patient. The word rang through my mind as I sat down. I was a patient here, didn't that mean I was sick?

Am I sick? Or am I just overreacting?

If I'm overreacting will they treat me?

This is nonsense! I should just go back home.

But what if there is something wrong?

I tried to focus past these ceaseless thoughts and bring my mind to where I was. I was here, I was here to get help, I was here to better myself. Taking deep breaths I prayed that the doctor wouldn't take long, otherwise my thoughts would interrogate me more than the therapist will.

Thankfully my wish was his command because seconds later he came in through the door. I had known he was a man considering the chat I had heard in the office during my 45 minute wait. They talked about his success in helping people and things like that, but what I had heard the most was how attractive he was. They weren't wrong. He had tossled curly black hair with some pieces dangling around his eyes, oh his eyes. They were a piercing blue. I didn't mean that figuratively, they were so sharp and bright they could have sliced the head off of any foe, but thankfully his glasses protected us from that. Beyond that they were cool, and calculating, like he knew your every move, every step, and he was certainly going to use that to his advantage. To top everything off he wore a white button up that was rolled at the sleeves and black slacks. He was picture perfect and could have sweeped any modeling company, but instead he's my therapist.