Love in Disguise

Chapter 1

NOTE: All characters appearing in this work are ficticious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2014 BlueBallsSanctuary. All rights reserved under copyright law, if stolen its punishable by law and risk meeting the other side of my pocket knife. I'm not joking when I say I will cut you, it's happened before guys. Just ask Jerry.

C H A P T E R 1;

"Are you sure you still want to go? It's not too late to change your mind you know?" My mom sobbed into my shoulder as she gripped me tighter in her bone-crushing definition of a hug.

"Yes mom, I'm sure" I repeated for what felt like the hundreth time. She didn't seem to be getting the message though, you'd think I was dying with the way she was crying.

"Are you sure? Your father and I can find you a nice girl for you to settle down with, you don't have to go all the way to the other side of the world to find someone." she reminded me as if I wasn't already aware of that fact. The thought of settling down with a girl my parents had chosen for me made me cringe internally.

"Mom, we live in the 21st Century - I am not going to subject myself to an arranged marriage when I am perfectly capable of finding someone by myself. And with all your of friends' daughters that I've dated, I really don't see myself settling down with anyone you've chosen for me - sorry, it's just not happening." I told her while she continued to sniffle. My clothes were doing a pretty good job of absorbing all her tears and snot. This shirt would definitely need to be dry cleaned.

"What's wrong with the girls we've chosen for you?" She asked, her voice dripping in accusation. She stopped sobbing and looked up at me frowning.
 
I didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that all thirteen of the dates she'd planned for me had been disasters and that I would've been better off spending those nights dining with a fern plant. I'm sure even a fern plant could hold a better conversation than either of those girls. They'd all been too boring, too stupid, too arrogant, too superficial and just too immature for me - but how could I put that to my Mom without sounding too picky? That's right, I couldn't. So I simply answered...

"Nothing mom," whilst gently peeling her of my shoulder "they just weren't to my taste." I said as I guided her to the kitchen island and placed her on one of the chairs. She'd temporarily stopped crying and I wanted to get away from her before she got started again, God knows my shirt wouldn't be able to handle anymore of the contents of her nose.

"I'm gonna go now" I said pointing my thumb over my shoulder. I made quick work of escaping the kitchen in case my mom decided that my shirt hadn't endured enough tears yet.

As I walked down the hallway to my bedroom I decided to stop by my sister's room to harass her, as per usual. I knocked but opened the door before she responded, no one in this house really abides by the whole 'knocking and waiting until invited in' concept', which is why I took the liberty of installing a lock on my door.

"Whatcha doin'" I asked her childishly, peeking my head in from behind the door.

"Nothin' much" she responded distractedly, only briefly looking up from her tablet whilst lying in her bed and continuing whatever she was doing on her tablet. Gosh, teenagers and their technology.
I opened the door wider and fully entered the room taking a seat on her desk despite the fact that there was an office chair right beside it.

"Are you telling all your friends that they can stop pretending they like you now because I'm leaving and there's no point coming over here?" I asked her smirking.

She rolled her eyes and grunted "Jerry, I don't know who lied to you but no one is attracted to that big ass head of  yours. In fact it's quite sad for mom really; pushing you out of her was hard enough with that huge head of your and now she has to help you find a girlfriend because your ugly, dumbass can't do it on your own." she said looking at me and smiling to herself that she'd gotten one on me.

"Little girl, you are getting too brave. Should I come remind you who was born first?" I asked her threateningly, raising one eyebrow.

"Come then." she said provocatively, as an invitation to fight.

I jumped on her bed and sat on her knowing that my weight compared to hers was nothing and she'd suffer.

"Get off me! You obese gorilla" she demanded.

"Listen Naomi, you started it - I needed to show you the levels, didn't I? Before you get too big for your boots thinking I wont whoop your ass back into place."

"Ok, ok. Just get off me!" she shouted from underneath me and I laughed.

"Ooh, is that a gas I feel coming up?" I asked to rile her up further.

"No! No!" she yelled as she thrashed wildly making me laugh even harder "Get off, get off, get off!" she continued yelling before I finally jumped off of her, still laughing.

"Now, now Naomi, my dear Nai - you know I'm too much of a gentleman to pass wind in front of a lady." I said mockingly and in response she kissed her teeth and gave me the stank eye.

"If you broke my tablet I would've made you buy me a new one. In fact, you would buy me an upgrade." she stated indignantly, finally getting out of her bed.

"You wouldn't make me do anything, 'cos you're not the boss of me." I said to her childishly sticking out my tongue as I sat in her office chair and started spinning around the room.

"Well I'd tell mom and she'd make you buy me a new one." she replied.

"Mom loves me too much to care about anything coming out of that garbage disposal you call your mouth" I said laughing.

She rolled her eyes and mumbled "Asshole." under her breath.

This is what out relationship consisted of, insults, unecessary violence and general disregard of eachother requests. Seeing as it was just the two of us, we'd formed a bond that would rival that of many siblings.
When she was younger our relationship consisted primarily of me being the stereotypical overprotective brother but as she grew up our relationship turned into banter, burps, her stealing my beer and wrestling. In our own dysfunctional way, we love eachother and as much as it bruises my ego to say so: I'm definitely going to miss her whilst I'm gone.

"Get out of my room loser, I'm about to take my clothes off" she said

"Don't worry sweetheart, you don't have anything I haven't seen before. Maybe when your boobs finally arrive you might." I said mockingly.

"How can you - a grown ass man, confidently say that you haven't seen a pair of boobs before? Boy, bye" she said laughing at me.

"Well, obviously I have seen a pair of boobs before; I said it so I could laugh at your expense." I defended myself whilst rolling my eyes at my failed attempt.

"Well," she said stretching out the syllables "you failed so get out." she said trying to extricate my body from her chair.
After that didn't go to plan, she decided to wheel the chair to her door, open it, wheel me outside then pull the chair by its wheels leading to me welcoming the floor into my personal space. Dramatically saying "Good riddance" and dusting off her hands as if the task had been extemely labour intensive, she pulled her chair back into her bedroom and swiftly shut the door behind her.

"Obese giraffe!" I yelled from outside her room as a rebuttal to her dramatic exit.

"I love you too." she said from inside.

Shaking my head I walked to my bedroom down the hallway, that girl will be the death of me.

Author's Note:

Hiya, if you haven't already noticed, my chapters seem to consist of mainly dialogue - I'm not sure if that's something that's going to change over the course of the book or if it's necessarily a bad thing but idgaf sooo... yh. If that kinda thing floats your boat then keep reading I guess.
I feel like I was going to add something else but I can't remember so I'll just end it here.
Comment, vote or whateverrr.