The Hangout » [malum] √

The One With the Cheshire Grin

[October 1st]

Two weeks later he was breaking up another party, not that he hadn't been breaking up parties in the last two weeks, but those nights and that night had a distinct difference. The presence of the boy from the hall, Cal.

Yet again he didn't really want to be breaking up the party, he would have rather been in attendance or maybe even in bed, but cheap housing was worth it, or so he told himself. That didn't stop him from being high, not greening out three suburbs over with no recollection of getting there high, just spaced out. He wasn't sure if he'd even broken up the party all that well, but he left anyway going back down the hall, ready to climb in bed. When he got back to his door though he realised he hadn't brought his key, maybe he was a little more than spaced out. He sighed letting himself slide down the wall and sit with his head leant back and his legs stretching across the hallway. He was a shitty RA.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but it can't have been too long because he was still pretty out of it when heard chatter coming from the stairwell, and even in his slightly drug fogged state his heart fluttered at the thought it might be Cal. Michael felt weird calling him Cal, he knew that, that must have been a nickname but he didn't want to guess at his name, what if it were something awful like Calvin? He was chuckling to himself when he heard a massive thud and laughter, his head whipped to face the stairs but whoever was down there still hadn't appeared.

"I can't believe you dropped me, what the fuck," the familiar voiced laughed, then its owner rounded the corner atop another, taller boys back. He had long chocolate coloured hair and pale skin, and he too was, "The fourth one on the left, I think," a small giggle left the tan boys mouth as he pointed, nearly falling again.

"Calum Hood, giggling? Wow, you are drunk," The tall boy grinned wide and devilishly? Swinging Calum around to his front before putting him down. 

"Ashton kept saying that I had to keep up with him," Calum explained searching for his keys, his hands patting up and down his thighs and then over his round arse before going back to one of his front pockets and fishing them from there.

"He passed out on the floor two hours ago," the pale guy said his brow furrowing but a smile still on his lips.

"Exactly, so I won," Calum declared, flicking his keys dramatically so they jangled loudly in the quiet hall.

The other man raised a finger to his lips, telling him to be quiet, "I'll stay and keep an eye on you hey?" he asked, the same grin splitting across his face.

Calum simply nodded and wrapped his arm around the other's waist ready to guide him in. The taller man, however, must have seen Michael on the floor because he made a small nod in his direction, signally for Calum to look.

He turned and saw Michael on the floor, "Oh, ah hi, you aren't locked out, are you?" he asked with the blank look that could only be found on a drunk.

Michael blushed deeply, even though he knew the odds of him remembering were low, "No, sorry I'm keeping an ear out for the party down the hall, didn't mean to get in the road,"

"Oh, well that's all good, uh... have a good night then," he smiled at Michael again, the same smile from all those weeks ago.

He was sucked in all over again, diving into the pools of milky brown until the moment shattered and the boys turned away heading into Calum's dorm room. He decided that he was going to join a support group for hopelessly delusional teenage girls, he'd fit right in, they could cry for their pop princes and he could pine for Calum. He had to admit though, something told him that the man was something else, maybe if he got the chance to fuck him the stupid idea would leave him, but he couldn't help wanting to believe he could right all his wrongs.

It wasn't the first time he'd fallen into this dangerous tangle of thoughts, fascinated by an idea he had of someone. This was the first time he'd been aware he was doing it, but that was how things had started with Luke and him. To be fair it went both ways, they seemed to live in this grand delusion that things would eventually just work, and they would find someone that would fill in all the cracks they could feel within themselves. Someone that would take the aching loneliness that they felt when they were alone. They'd had all these expectations of one another, things that neither were ever going to be capable of. That was in freshman year, and though that wasn't that long ago, things had changed so much. They still messed around from time to time, but both had no otherworldly expectations of one another.

They'd realised that people weren't full of empty spaces, that they were whole and complete beings and there was a lot of work you had to do for yourself. Luke had taken that in his stride, becoming a self-confident, understanding and more loving (to himself and others). Michael had instead found it debilitating, if he didn't need someone to fix him, then why did he feel so empty? He couldn't do this himself, nothing he tried made much difference either way.

He continued to broodthe night away and it was seven AM before another RA turned up to let him in.The worst part was he was sober by then and it was Michael B who came to let himin, without his buzz the lecture felt incredibly long and tedious because hewas sure the other could tell he wasn't listening. He didn't even have enoughenergy to roll his eyes once he was safely back behind his door, instead he hithis mattress and was down and out until he'd slept through all except hismidday lecture.